Saving Prefect Draco
by Calamari Soup
Summary: She wasn’t supposed to feel sorry for him; she was supposed to feel smug that he had got his comeuppance. Even if he was found half dead in a corridor. She frowned slightly. There was something wrong with that logic. HGDM. Read and Review!
1. Midnight wanderings and unwanted discove

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the glass of water on my desk, the CD in my CD player and my love for Harry Potter fan fiction.  
  
Chapter One: Midnight wanderings and unwanted discoveries.  
  
Ron was taking an unhealthy interest in Harry's love life.  
  
Probably because he couldn't get himself a girlfriend, Hermione thought viciously.  
  
Ok, so she was slightly annoyed because she was trying to finish a potions essay but couldn't concentrate because of the random cries of 'No!', 'Really?' and 'Amazing!'  
  
If Harry actually worked up the confidence to tell Ginny how he felt about her then maybe Ron wouldn't want to take such an interest and maybe she could actually get past 'The four main uses of Boomslang skin are...'  
  
Harry and Ron quietened slightly after Hermione shot them a glare that could set paper on fire.  
  
The three of them were in the Gryffindor common room; it was late so the common room was empty of all other Gryffindors.  
  
She turned back to her parchment.  
  
'The four main uses of Boomslang skin are...'  
  
She sucked on the end of her quill.  
  
She was just about to write the first use, when her train of thought; which at this point in time had been overtaken by snails it was going so slow, crashed into a brick wall at Ron's cry of,  
  
"Susan Bones?! You have to be kidding me!"  
  
Hermione threw down her quill with an irritated 'ugh' and stormed out of the common room without so much as a glance back.  
  
"What's up with her?" Ron looked away from Harry at the sudden commotion Hermione was making.  
  
"Dunno. Do you think we should go after her?" Harry pushed his glasses up his nose.  
  
"Nah. It's probably that time of the month."  
  
Hermione stormed quietly down the corridor, storming down corridors usually helped her get her anger out but she had to storm quietly otherwise Filch would be alerted, this ruined the effect somewhat but she had no other choice.  
  
Her thoughts returned to the barely begun essay still lying on the desk in the Gryffindor common room. It didn't have to be in for two weeks, she could do it tomorrow.  
  
She stopped in her tracks.  
  
That had to be a first.  
  
Hermione Granger did not put homework off until the next day. With another 'ugh' she continued with her stomp through the corridors.  
  
She was so engrossed with her own thoughts she did not notice him sprawled on the ground until she was practically stood on him.  
  
She was wondering what the hell Susan Bones had done when her foot connected with something, something that felt horribly like a body.  
  
It was hard to see anything in the normally dingy corridors. It didn't help that this particular corridor had no windows and the last lamp had been a few feet away. It also didn't help that she was fighting the urge to scream.  
  
Then the part of the brain that contains the common sense kicked in and yelled 'YOU'RE A WITCH!' at her.  
  
Hermione fumbled in her robes until she found her wand.  
  
"Lumos..?" It was more of a tentative question than a command. She was actually quite surprised when the tip of her wand lit up.  
  
The surprise soon vanished and was replaced almost instantaneously by horror.  
  
Why the hell was Draco Malfoy lying dead in a dark corridor?  
  
The question sounded stupid even in her mind.  
  
She nudged him in the stomach with her foot. Malfoy groaned lightly but didn't open his eyes.  
  
Okay, not dead but almost unconscious.  
  
She resisted the urge to nudge him with more force or prod him with her wand. He didn't look like he had been beaten up or cursed for that matter, he looked more like he had fainted.  
  
But Malfoy seemed like the sort of person who simply did not faint. He seemed like the sort of person who didn't do a lot of things because of his reputation.  
  
He also seemed like the sort of person who, if confronted with an unconscious person in the middle of the night in a dark corridor, would merely sneer and step over the person trying hard not to get his robes to touch them.  
  
Or he was the person who did it.  
  
Not the person lying in the corridor unconscious. It somehow didn't fit.  
  
Hermione realised she was stood staring at him, her imagination running away with her. He was lying on his back; he must have fallen over backwards, probably whacking his head on the stone floor as he fell.  
  
Hermione felt a pang of sympathy for him but quickly suppressed it, knowing that this was Draco Malfoy, the bane of Harry's life, ignoring Voldemort for the moment, and overall school bully. She wasn't supposed to feel sorry for him; she was supposed to feel smug that he had got his comeuppance.  
  
Even if he was found half dead in a corridor.  
  
There was something wrong with that logic.  
  
If it had been Harry and Ron walking down this corridor they probably would have burst out laughing and wandered away, Ron probably kicking Malfoy before they went off to have more conversations about what Susan Bones did.  
  
Hermione frowned as she realised she was becoming annoyingly obsessed with what Susan Bones did. Not because she was jealous, she shook her head and ignored the voice in the back of her head that was contradicting her, of course not. Not because she felt left out either.  
  
Hermione didn't know why she was trying to deny her own feelings about Harry and Ron to her own mind but was slightly disturbed by it so stopped thinking about it and turned her attention back to Draco Malfoy, who still hadn't moved.  
  
She gave into temptation and prodded him with her wand. He didn't react.  
  
She mused over taking him to the infirmary or finding a teacher to tell, it would seem rather suspicious though. Hermione Granger finds her enemy, Draco Malfoy unconscious in a dark corridor in the middle of the night and has no idea why he might be there. The teachers would surely believe that. And why was she out of bed? Because she couldn't stand hearing about Susan Bones' antics.  
  
Damn. No more thinking about that. Who cares anyway? They're only teenage boys.  
  
So, what to do? She couldn't pick him up. That was highly unlikely. A sixteen-year-old Hermione had no chance of picking up a sixteen-year-old Draco Malfoy who was at least six foot. Besides where would she take him?  
  
Why should she even help him at all? He had only made her life hell for the past six years. He didn't owe her anything.  
  
There was suddenly the sound of scuffling footsteps.  
  
None of the students walked like that at night. Not if they didn't want to get caught.  
  
Hermione clapped her hand over her mouth as a frightened 'eep' escaped from her lips. Filch was still quite far away so she wasn't in immediate danger.  
  
What about Malfoy?  
  
Barely thinking about the consequences she whispered, "Wingardium Leviosa" and took flight with Malfoy wobbling along behind her.  
  
She couldn't just leave him there, she told herself over and over as she scarpered away in the direction of the Gryffindor common room. If Filch found him who knows what would happen. As much as Hermione hated Malfoy she couldn't bring herself to leave him in the hands of Filch.  
  
Filch would probably feed him to Mrs Norris.  
  
Or take out his insides and put them in jars.  
  
Hermione grimaced; she was letting her imagination rule her brain again. Filch had surely heard her take flight and was probably chasing her. Well, more like waddling after her.  
  
She skidded round a corner and saw the Fat Lady was in sight.  
  
She was pretty sure that Malfoy had whacked his head on that last corner but there was no time to dwell on that.  
  
She panted the password and climbed into the Gryffindor common room with Malfoy bobbing after her. She almost fell over as she barrelled into the room.  
  
Fortunately Harry and Ron had gone to bed.  
  
She concentrated on what to do with Draco Malfoy instead of feeling annoyed that Harry and Ron hadn't sat up waiting for her.  
  
Hermione reminded herself that it was extremely lucky they had decided to abandon the best friend act for one night. It would be very bad, not to mention weird, for her to stumble into the common room with a comatose Draco Malfoy hovering behind her.  
  
She hadn't actually thought what would happen if they were actually there.  
  
Ron would probably burst into pleased chuckles and ask her what she did to him.  
  
There was a thump and Hermione whipped round to see that her lack of concentration on the spell had caused Draco to be dropped onto the floor.  
  
She fought a smirk. That wouldn't do much good for his recovery.  
  
Hermione glanced down at him. The usual Malfoy smirk had vanished and he looked completely different. Maybe it was because the only times she had seen Malfoy was when he was sneering at them or scowling. One of the two.  
  
She wasn't sure that the smirk ever actually left his face.  
  
She couldn't just leave him in the middle of the common room floor. Well, she could, but she would have to be responsible to any ass kicking that happened to him as a result of it.  
  
She would have to keep him hidden until morning. She wasn't chancing Filch again, or the Gryffindors. Hermione frowned as she realised she would have to wait until he woke up before she could do anything.  
  
Swearing in a most un-Hermione-ish way she scooped up her homework and muttered the lifting spell again.  
  
She dearly wished that someone would pinch her so she would wake up from this ghastly nightmare she seemed to have gotten herself into.  
  
With her homework in her arms and a hovering Draco Malfoy trailing behind her, Hermione disappeared into her prefect's separate dorm muttering something about leaving Malfoy where he was for Mrs Norris to find him.  
  
She was too kind hearted for her own good.  
  
A/N: What do you think? Carry on? Obliviate? Read and Review! Constructive criticism welcome, flames don't make my writing any better! 


	2. Early mornings and very surprise announc

Disclaimer: Nothing is owned by me. Talk like Yoda I must.  
  
Chapter 2: Early Mornings and Surprise Announcements.  
  
Falling out of bed was not generally the best way to wake up. Or so Hermione found out.  
  
Especially at Hogwarts where the stone floors would dislocate your knee as soon as look at you. Wizards had obviously not heard about the miracle of carpets.  
  
Hermione blearily decided that the reason for her falling was the fact that her bed had somehow managed to shrink without her permission. This wasn't exactly the most intelligent conclusion to come to, but there was no accounting for early mornings.  
  
Looking up from her none too comfortable position on the floor Hermione managed to come to the decision that what she had been lying on was not her bed.  
  
In actual fact it was her sofa. The old squashy sofa that ruled over the area underneath the window in her prefect's room. It was notorious – to Hermione at least – for trying to eat you if you sat on it for too long. Hermione was amazed that she had made it through the night without becoming sofa-food.  
  
Rubbing her tired eyes Hermione finally got up off the floor where she had been sprawled for the past ten minutes pondering the mysteries of Hogwarts and life in general.  
  
Then she remembered the night before.  
  
She hurried over to her bed and pulled back the heavy blankets that invariably smelled of 'oldness', if such a thing were possible.  
  
The prefect's bedrooms were obviously not high on the house elves' cleaning rota.  
  
Damn, damn and double damn.  
  
Why was he still there? Why had he not disappeared as soon as she woke up like the rather disturbing dream of Dumbledore doing the cancan she had been having before being rudely awakened?  
  
Why hadn't she taken him to the infirmary?  
  
Hermione realised she had been pacing her room rather wildly and stopped.  
  
It would have involved far too much running for her taste. The route to the hospital wing from the Gryffindor tower had far too many staircases and sharp corners for Hermione's liking. She was not a natural runner.  
  
Or exerciser, for that matter.  
  
In fact the closest thing she got to exercise was probably lugging around her school bag from lesson to lesson but that most likely didn't count.  
  
There was also the fact that Filch would be scuttling along behind her the whole way just itching to find out who she was so he could dole out the detention.  
  
But the main downside, in Hermione's mind, surprisingly, was the running.  
  
She stood at the side of the bed. It was rather odd that he hadn't woken up yet. Generally if people fainted they would wake up soon after. Or so Hermione supposed. She had never actually fainted or seen anyone faint apart from on television.  
  
She prodded him thoughtfully in the cheek.  
  
Nothing.  
  
Glancing at her bedside clock she realised it was still quite early. Maybe she could sneak him out before any of the Gryffindors woke. Then maybe she could dump him in some unused corridor for someone else to find.  
  
She hurriedly washed and dressed; barely stopping to muse why Hogwarts had showers but not carpets. Staring despondently at her reflection in the mirror Hermione decided that she thought far too much about life, the universe and everything. Ron seemed to bumble along, practically not caring about the world, Harry had far too much on his plate to ponder the mysteries of life and there she was, wondering why Hogwarts had no carpets.  
  
It was pathetic really.  
  
Then there was the hair.  
  
She had always assumed it would sort itself out sooner or later. But no, it was still the pile of bushiness that sat on the top of her head like some sort of strange hat. It was far too much effort to do it like she had at the Yule Ball; besides, Hermione had always maintained that it was time she could use for studying.  
  
Hermione snorted. She had bigger problems than her hair at this particular point in time.  
  
She opened her door slightly and stole a look out into the common room. Unfortunately her door squeaked rather loudly, Hermione managed to trip over the doorframe and she stumbled into the common room.  
  
At the noise Hermione was making Harry and Ron looked round from their seats on the sofa in front of the fire. They had decided to get up early and wait for Hermione, to make sure she was ok. Well, Harry had and Ron had reluctantly agreed even though it involved his least favourite activity of the day aside from Potions – getting up early.  
  
They looked at Hermione expectantly whilst she tried to regain her balance, once regained she pushed her hair out of her eyes. Seeing her two best friends watching her with interest her eyes widened and an 'eep' escaped from her lips. She practically ran back into her room.  
  
Harry slowly turned to face Ron.  
  
"Well that wasn't the greeting I expected. How 'bout you?"  
  
Back in her room, Hermione hastily covered Malfoy with the heavy blanket.  
  
Then she realised that he would probably suffocate so she pulled it off his face. Murder was not another charge she wanted alongside kidnapping.  
  
Smoothing down her mass of hair, she walked out of her room more calmly than her first attempt, making sure to lock her door behind her.  
  
~~  
  
Harry was sure there was something wrong with Hermione, even Ron had noticed. She had been jumpy all the way to the Great Hall and when Ron had attempted to make a joke about Malfoy she had practically leapt a foot in the air.  
  
Trying desperately not to look over at the Slytherin table where she knew there would be a glaringly obvious empty space Hermione slipped into a seat that faced the Hufflepuff table. This way she would have her back to the Slytherin table and she could almost ignore her guilty conscience.  
  
Ron began to talk about something but Hermione wasn't really listening. It involved a lot of hand swooping so it was probably Quidditch – it wasn't like she actually listened to Quidditch conversations anyway.  
  
"Hermione?"  
  
"'Mione, are you listening?"  
  
At the sound of her name, Hermione blinked and realised she had been absentmindedly scowling at Susan Bones, who was looking back at her, confused.  
  
Harry and Ron also looked confused. Ron was pulling the face he usually reserved for lessons and Harry looked slightly hurt. Ron was about to speak but stopped as the pile of wrinkles – known to most other students as Albus Dumbledore – stood.  
  
"An event has occurred that does not, in general, happen at Hogwarts."  
  
Practically all eyes were on Dumbledore. Except for Crabbe and Goyle, who were too slow to realise something was happening, and Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas, who were staring at their plates hoping that this wasn't about the 'toilet incident'.  
  
"We seem to have, how shall I say this, misplaced a student."  
  
A ripple of gasps made its way through the students. Many people were glancing around their house tables trying to work out who was missing. The Slytherins, however, all put on looks of knowing and superiority – except, again, Crabbe and Goyle.  
  
"The student in question is Draco Malfoy. He left his common room last night and no one has seen him since. If you have any information regarding the whereabouts of Mr Malfoy please do not hesitate to tell a member of staff. Thank-you."  
  
The Gryffindor table, it seemed, could not hold their laughter in anymore. The whole table burst out laughing.  
  
Draco Malfoy? The Slytherin Prince? Missing? Fantastic! This was just too, too priceless!  
  
Hermione hoped everyone was too engrossed in laughing to notice her now bright red cheeks. She attempted a laugh but stopped due to sounding like a strangled sheep. Instead she made do with a weak grin.  
  
To some people in the hall it seemed that Dumbledore was not worried in the slightest, no matter how hard he tried to bring it to the table that he was, and was in fact bowing his head to hid his grin.  
  
"There is one other announcement."  
  
The laughter gradually died away, a few Gryffindors wiped their tear filled eyes from laughing too much and everyone turned their gaze back to their Headmaster.  
  
"Due to the success and positive feedback of the previous Yule Ball, the staff and I have decided to hold another. It will be held on the last Friday of term and fifth years and above are allowed to come. Besides, it wouldn't be a Fan Fiction if there was no Yule Ball, now would it?"  
  
The last part was said more to himself than the school and caused more than a few bewildered frowns to appear on people's faces.  
  
The second announcement pretty much took all the drama out of Malfoy's announcement – but really only the Slytherins cared.  
  
Dumbledore sat down again and all the students began to talk at once, either about the mysterious disappearance of Draco Malfoy or the approaching Yule Ball. Hermione groaned into her cereal. The last thing she needed was the school to know about Malfoy, but also to have to worry about another Yule Ball was too much.  
  
There was no Krum this time. She and Krum had broken up. Ron had taunted her about him walking like a duck so many times that she actually began to see a duck whenever she saw him. She had had to break it off.  
  
So who would she go with?  
  
There she went again. Her attention turning from her main problem to small stupid problems. Maybe she could just fake the flu and avoid the Yule Ball altogether.  
  
Well, it was a possibility.  
  
Hermione was pretty sure that Lavender and Parvati wouldn't let her get away with that option though.  
  
She knew that they had been dying to do something, anything, with her hair but Hermione would let them come near it. She liked the way it kept her ears warm in winter.  
  
She returned to reality. Ron and Harry kept switching conversations between Malfoy's disappearance and the Yule Ball. Ron looked rather scared about having to find someone to go with for the second time.  
  
Hermione pushed her bowl away. Maybe she should just go check on Malfoy to make sure he hadn't woken up. She wasn't leaving him alone in her room.  
  
An awake Malfoy was most probably an angry Malfoy.  
  
She didn't want to risk having her furniture destroyed by a wizard in a temper.  
  
A/N: What do you think? Read and Review! 


	3. Well, that was unexpected

Disclaimer: Do I own anything? Nope.  
  
Chapter Three: Well that was unexpected.  
  
Neville Longbottom was not having a good day.  
  
But then actually having a good day was pretty rare for him.  
  
Potions had been no barrel of monkeys. Why fun was compared to a barrel of monkeys he would never know, but that wasn't the point.  
  
Snape had blatantly knocked over his cauldron in full view of every single person in the potions class that day. It hadn't been Neville's fault that he had added the asphodel before the boomslang skin and it had burned a hole in the floor when Snape knocked it over.  
  
The solid stone floor.  
  
Then there had been Transfiguration, ok so his attention had been wandering slightly and he had somehow managed to transfigure Professor McGonagall's hat into a giant slug because he had waved his wand in the wrong direction.  
  
It wasn't his fault that she didn't notice until the slug tried to slither down her face. It wasn't his fault that no one told her either.  
  
Now he had been asked to go into Hermione's dorm. Apparently she had hurried straight into her dorm after lessons and hadn't come out since. Harry and Ron claimed to be worried about her sudden interest in staying in her room all the time. Neville suspected they were just the teensy bit curious as well.  
  
He had been chosen to go into the daunting domain of the female because according to Harry and Ron, if she was changing it wouldn't matter too much because he was only Neville and it would be seen as another of his bumbling accidents.  
  
It was like if he saw students doing something they shouldn't be doing they would hurriedly stop, looking up guiltily. Once they saw who it was, however, they would continue to do it, muttering things like, "It's only Longbottom, don't worry he won't tell."  
  
Now he was standing outside Hermione's door, glancing back at Harry and Ron who were making encouraging gestures and whispering 'just go in' at him. They were also grinning rather irritatingly.  
  
Neville gave his best withering glare at them and willed them to spontaneously combust. But Harry and Ron were still there.  
  
He turned the doorknob. The door was surprisingly unlocked. According to Harry and Ron the door had been locked all day.  
  
Maybe she was attempting to blow up the school.  
  
With Hermione anything was possible.  
  
Neville dismissed the thought; Hermione would never do something like that.  
  
Would she?  
  
~~  
  
Hermione had practically ran down the corridors to the Gryffindor common room. At least, as fast as her ten tonne bag would let her go.  
  
Harry and Ron suspected something, she could tell. She was slightly amazed that they had paid her some attention instead of discussing Susan Bones the whole time.  
  
Damn.  
  
Almost a whole day without thinking of it.  
  
It bugged her that Harry and Ron were slowly drifting off into their own world where the stupid grunts and non-committal noises they made actually counted as conversation and could be understood. Ok, it wasn't quite like that, her brain was over analysing everything again as it always did.  
  
But it did feel like the three of them were slowly going their own ways. Hermione knew other people, but wasn't generally friends with them. There was Ginny, but she was popular in her year and didn't always have time for Hermione. There was Lavender and Parvati as well, but Hermione found them too squeaky.  
  
Really, those girls squealed far too much to be normal.  
  
She gasped the password and made a mental note to do more exercise. Ron and Harry had got to the common room a little after she did and only saw her fleeting figure and the door slam after her.  
  
Unfortunately in her haste she had forgotten to lock the door.  
  
She grabbed a glass from her bedside table and filled it from the tap in her bathroom. She went back into her room and stood over her bed.  
  
He still hadn't moved.  
  
Maybe he really was dead.  
  
Hermione prodded him again only to get no reaction. Generally, dead people tended not to breathe. Looking at his closed lids it struck her that he had extremely long eyelashes. Then she realised she had no idea what colour eyes he had.  
  
Sure she had glared at him enough times in their numerous and extremely loud fights. But never actually took in the colour of his eyes. But then it wasn't something people did. Noticing the colour of their enemy's eyes when yelling at them wasn't exactly fight etiquette.  
  
She considered lifting up his eyelid to see what colour his eyes were, but dismissed it, knowing that she was extremely heavy handed, and would probably poke him in the eye rendering him blind. Not that she wouldn't mind doing that. She was careful in measuring potion ingredients but just not particularly good at anything else that involved a steady hand.  
  
She hoped he wouldn't wake up any time soon as she had no idea what she would do when he did. He would probably curse her with some dark spell that would cause her to explode or fall apart or something.  
  
Hermione's knowledge of actual dark curses was pretty limited.  
  
Still pondering dark curses and Malfoy's eyelashes Hermione leant over him in the hope of discovering his eye colour by staring at his eyelids.  
  
Suddenly the door burst open and three things happened at once.  
  
Hermione jumped and spilt water over the unconscious Malfoy.  
  
Hermione screamed.  
  
Neville screamed back.  
  
She ran over and shut the door behind Neville muttering a silencing spell as she went.  
  
"Did you see?" She demanded at Neville who gave her the rabbit-caught-in- headlights look.  
  
"Did I see what?" Neville replied, frowning slightly. He glanced around the room, his eyes came to rest on Malfoy, a rather wet Malfoy who had just had the contents of Hermione's glass spilt over him. Neville gave a small yelp.  
  
"Hermione." He hissed. "Why the hell is Malfoy dead in your bed? What did he do to you? More importantly what did you do to him?"  
  
Neville edged over to Malfoy and poked him in the foot. He grinned slightly when nothing happened but quickly turned back to Hermione, frowning again.  
  
"Nothing. Nothing happened." Hermione replied. Malfoy certainly was pale enough to look dead.  
  
"Ok, I'll just go tell Harry and Ron what I saw." For the first time in his life, Neville felt like he had the upper hand.  
  
"No you won't Neville." The feeling disappeared.  
  
"And why not?"  
  
"You're Neville, you don't do things like that."  
  
That was the breaking point for Neville. He was tired of being walked all over.  
  
"WHY DON'T I DO THINGS LIKE THAT? MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO BE GOOD OLD NEVILLE THAT EVERYONE TAKES ADVANTGE OF! MAYBE I'M FED UP WITH BEING USED AS A DOORMAT DAY IN DAY OUT! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU PEOPLE!"  
  
Hermione looked shocked. She certainly hadn't been expecting that. Neville glared at her and tried to control his breathing. There was a silence for a while until finally Hermione spoke.  
  
"So you won't tell?"  
  
Neville practically screamed with frustration and stomped out of Hermione's room. Hermione hurried out after him only pausing to lock her door on the way out, she was so engrossed in Neville's apparent personality transplant that she didn't notice a certain unconscious person's eyelids flicker.  
  
Neville burst out into the common room. Harry and Ron jumped up from where they had been sitting eagerly.  
  
"What happened?" Ron asked blatantly missing the tortured look on Neville's face.  
  
"NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING."  
  
"Then why are you yelling?" Harry looked confused, Neville wasn't usually the yelling type, he was more the 'come walk all over me' type.  
  
"NO REASON WHATSOEVER!" Neville stamped out of the common room, making sure to give Ron's bag a hefty kick on the way out. Ron turned to Harry.  
  
"Well that was uncalled for."  
  
Hermione ran out from her room after Neville. Harry grinned at Ron.  
  
"Maybe it's a lovers' tiff."  
  
~~  
  
Draco Malfoy wasn't particularly used to waking up in bedrooms that weren't his own. If he did then he usually remembered how he got there. Or even whose bedroom it was.  
  
His mind was completely blank. The last thing he remembered was walking down a corridor, staring at the ceiling for a moment then nothing. It wasn't looking good.  
  
He sat up in the bed he was in and wondered what day it was. Judging from the decoration of the room it was a Gryffindor room, a prefect Gryffindor at that, only the Gryffindors would have the tastelessness to choose red and gold as their house colours.  
  
As a rule Draco tended to stay away from Gryffindor girls as they mainly held far too many grudges against the Slytherin population. Though not against him personally. He was far too good looking for that.  
  
Draco got out of the bed and wandered around the room; on the floor there was a huge stack of books.  
  
Schoolbooks.  
  
Draco stared at them in horror. Only one person he knew of was a Gryffindor prefect and was having an affair with the school library.  
  
Hermione bloody Granger.  
  
Maybe she had knocked him out and was holding him hostage in some weird twisted scheme that didn't actually make any sense.  
  
Maybe she planned to kill him.  
  
Draco blinked. He was being irrational. Doing something like taking him hostage was punished by expulsion. Or so he supposed. And that was far too higher price for Mudblood Granger to want to pay.  
  
His mind ranted various colourful insults at the Mudblood in question. Draco didn't like not knowing what was going on. He made it his business to know everything that went on in Hogwarts. Even some of the things he'd really rather not know. It gave him a feeling of superiority over everyone else.  
  
Rule #2 of the Malfoy code was to be superior to everyone, even if they didn't know it.  
  
Rule #1 was to smirk irritatingly all the time, but that didn't really count to Draco as he did it anyway. He practiced in the mirror every night. It was somewhat of a hobby.  
  
Draco wondered if the room was too high up for him to jump out of the window.  
  
~~  
  
"Hermione you have to tell us some time."  
  
"Yeah, we have a right to know!"  
  
Hermione slumped her shoulders and glared at the two boys through her curtain of hair.  
  
"I've told you. I'm not doing anything!" She exclaimed. Ron raised his eyebrows and looked at her disbelievingly at her.  
  
"Then why did Neville run yelling from the room? Is there something going on between you too?" Harry seemed genuinely concerned, but Hermione was too aggravated to care.  
  
"Argh!" A truly intelligent response from who was supposed to be the smartest girl in school. Hermione tossed her hair and charged back into her room, slamming her door behind her.  
  
Ron turned to Harry with a smug look on his face.  
  
"I told you."  
  
"You told me what?"  
  
"That time of the month."  
  
~~  
  
Hermione barged into her room and practically ran into him.  
  
She pushed her hair out of her eyes and looked up into the grey eyes of Draco Malfoy.  
  
A very pissed off Draco Malfoy at that.  
  
Ah, grey eyes.  
  
'Oh bugger'. She thought.  
  
A/N: Read and Review!  
  
Thanks to everyone that reviewed! I forgot to say thank-you in the last chapter, so I'm doing it now! 


	4. Ah, you woke up then?

Disclaimer: No, I don't own anything. Do you even have to ask?  
  
Chapter 4: Ah, you woke up then?  
  
"Erm..." Hermione floundered. This had to be the most embarrassing point of her not all that long life.  
  
This even surpassed the time she was so busy watching a boy walk past that she didn't see her grandmother's Chihuahua, Chichi by name, and ended up sprawled on the pavement. Also, just to make things even worse her skirt had flown up, revealing her underwear to the world.  
  
Hermione wasn't usually the type of girl to boy-watch, but by ignoring that rule she managed to give her grandmother something to talk about to her friends at their coffee mornings. Mavis and Dot, whenever they saw her, asked her rather loudly if she was making sure her underwear was hidden from view.  
  
This moment in time beat every single event where her cheeks had burnt and she had had some inclination to go and hide in a cave for a few years until the laughter had died down.  
  
She wished he would say something, yell at her, try to curse her – anything. As long as he stopped watching her in that way. Half of him seemed irritatingly amused about the predicament she was in and the other half seemed utterly pissed off. Which was a hard combination to be, but hell, it was Draco Malfoy, anything was possible.  
  
The last thought rather scared Hermione.  
  
She watched him watch her and opened and closed her mouth a few times in the vain hope that a reasonable explanation might come out.  
  
It was a very vain hope.  
  
"Would you mind explaining to me why I'm imprisoned in your room?"  
  
At least his voice was working. Hermione continued to do rather unattractive fish impressions. There were also no insults or curses in that statement, they'd probably come later. Luring her into a false sense of security and all that.  
  
"You're not imprisoned. You can leave whenever you want, the only reason you didn't was because you've been unconscious for the past few days!"  
  
Ah, there was the voice. It had finally decided to show itself.  
  
Malfoy arched a brow and regarded her rather disbelievingly.  
  
"Unconscious, eh? I bet you drugged my pumpkin juice or hit me over the head with my own broomstick or something."  
  
To Hermione, it sounded like he could almost believe the preposterous ideas he presented them with.  
  
"And why, pray tell, would I even consider doing something like that?" Hermione snorted in disbelief. A frown crossed Malfoy's face but the superior look returned almost instantly. Hermione placed her hands on her hips and glared at him.  
  
"Really, who says 'pray tell' anymore? Granger, you should spend less time hugging the books in the library - or whatever it is you do in there every evening, and actually learn the English people use in this century." Malfoy drawled, emphasizing every syllable.  
  
Hermione resisted the urge to punch him in the face but kept her fists balled tightly just in case of the perfect opportunity. Instead she just rolled her eyes and gave an exasperated sigh.  
  
"You didn't answer my question." She said meeting his gaze.  
  
"I don't know do I?" A disgusted look crossed his face. "Maybe you fancy me or something." He grimaced exaggeratedly.  
  
"Malfoy, I wouldn't touch you with a barge pole given the choice." She retorted, realizing a little too late that she had taken him in anyway.  
  
"What the hell's a barge pole?" Malfoy decided to ignore the slur and frowned.  
  
"It's a muggle thing. It doesn't matter. The point is, if I had left you where you were Filch would have found you and fed you to Mrs Norris or something."  
  
Malfoy smirked slowly.  
  
"And you care why?" He took a step forward. "Wouldn't it make life easier for the dream team if Draco Malfoy, bane of their existence and all round sex-god, was fed to Filch's extremely ugly cat?"  
  
He grinned wolfishly, obviously enjoying her embarrassment and discomfort.  
  
"You're right."  
  
"What about? The sex-god thing?"  
  
"No, it would make life easier for us if you were eaten by Mrs Norris. Also you're right about that cat, it looks as though it walked into a door. More than once." Hermione said. "And by the way deflate the ego a bit, it's filling the whole room."  
  
"So if you didn't drug me, which I highly doubt, why am I here?" Malfoy didn't miss a beat; he completely ignored the ego remark.  
  
"You were sprawled unconscious in a corridor."  
  
"Nice imagery. Besides, Malfoys don't sprawl. That's what Mudbloods like you do." Malfoy moved across to the window and looked out. He seemed to be trying to judge the distance from the window to the ground.  
  
"Wow. That had to be the closest thing to a civil conversation in six years, but you shot it down in flames with just one word." Hermione crossed her arms – a typical defence position – and scowled at Malfoy.  
  
He stood in the window, outlined by the afternoon sun.  
  
"I'd hardly call talking about decapitation by a feline, conversation." He remarked, opening the window and leaning dangerously far out of it.  
  
In spite of herself Hermione snorted with laughter. Malfoy climbed hurriedly back into the room and frowned at her.  
  
"Please don't laugh. It makes it seem as though we actually shared a joke, and God forbid that should happen."  
  
Draco arched his stiff back and rubbed his eyes in an exaggerated motion.  
  
"So you found me in an abandoned corridor, then what?" Draco sat down on Hermione's lumpy sofa; he got comfortable – something almost impossible to do on the 'sofa of doom' - and looked up at her expectantly.  
  
Hermione fought the urge to scream with frustration. He was being extremely irritating and she could tell he was trying to rile her.  
  
The words sounding extremely forced, Hermione managed to tell an account of what had happened, Malfoy only made a few choice sarcastic remarks during the story.  
  
Once the recap was over Malfoy still looked slightly sceptical.  
  
"I've told you everything that happened." Hermione said, frowning slightly. "Now answer me this, why were you lying unconscious in a corridor in the first place?"  
  
Draco shifted on the sofa. He knew why it had happened, but he certainly wasn't going to tell Mudblood Granger. She'd tell Potter and Weasley, by tomorrow morning the whole school would know.  
  
"I don't know Granger. Freak whirlwind, rabid hyenas, how am I supposed to know?" Draco shrugged lightly. "Anyway, we have bigger worries than how I got there, how I'm supposed to get out of this hell hole of a dormitory for one thing."  
  
For what had to be the hundredth time, Hermione rolled her eyes.  
  
"And I suppose you would like me to help you?"  
  
"Yes. I want you to help me." It wasn't a request. It was an order. Hermione wondered if all the Malfoys were up their own arses like he was. She also wondered whether he actually knew if the word 'please' existed. Maybe it was used in nightmares to scare young Malfoy children.  
  
She ran a hand through her unruly mass of hair and debated whether to just push Malfoy out into the middle of the common room and lock the door behind him, leaving him to the Gryffindors to sort out.  
  
Draco stood up from the sofa as he was beginning to sink into it, Granger seemed to be staring into space and grinning slightly.  
  
She seemed to do that a lot. It was rather unnerving. No wonder the only friends she could get were Potter and Weasley. Potter had become best friends with the first person he met on the train for goodness sake.  
  
He must have had a deprived childhood.  
  
He came to a conclusion that all Gryffindors were weird before waving a hand in front of Granger's face. She came back to reality with a start.  
  
"Well polyjuice is out of the question." She remarked walking over to the desk and pulling out a piece of parchment and a quill.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you know how long it takes to brew a polyjuice potion?" Hermione scrawled some ideas on the parchment.  
  
Draco grinned.  
  
"No. How long?"  
  
The amusement must have sounded in his voice because Hermione's head lifted up sharply.  
  
"Well, Snape said that it takes..."  
  
"Granger, I know it was Potter and Weasley in second year. Generally Crabbe's hair doesn't just go bright red." He paused. "Well, if it does it's because someone has hexed him." He paused again and smoothed down his robes. "Usually me."  
  
"You hex your friends?" Hermione sounded shocked.  
  
"Ugh Granger, you need to remember one thing when talking to me. The Slytherins don't really go in for the happy-clappiness and 'a friend in need is a friend indeed' shit that you Gryffindors do. It's a Crabbe eat Goyle world down there, it's hex or be hexed." Draco craned his neck to see over Hermione's shoulder at her ideas.  
  
He glanced down the list, they were all stupid ideas.  
  
"Granger. I am not dressing up as a girl! I want to get out of here as much as you want me out, but I will not, I repeat, will not dress up as a girl!"  
  
"Oh I don't know. I think you'd look quite good as a girl." Hermione fought a smirk, Draco Malfoy in a dress and utterly humiliated would be something she'd pay to see.  
  
"I'm this far away from hexing you Mudblood." His tone was light but it still dampened the mood. Hermione grit her teeth and ignored his casual use of the term.  
  
"You could always use Harry's invisibility cloak." It was a far-fetched scheme and she didn't think he would be up for it.  
  
"That would be like Potter helping me. That's almost as embarrassing as dressing as a girl." He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Almost."  
  
"No one would know!"  
  
"I would know!"  
  
Hermione's shoulders slumped. She was aggravated, he could tell without having to see her face.  
  
"You come up with something then Ferret Boy." She stood up, retrieved her glass from where she had dropped it – noticing that Malfoy had dried off fairly quickly, she suspected he had said a drying charm – and filled it up from the tap in her bathroom.  
  
When she returned, sipping the glass thoughtfully, Draco was hanging out the window again. Hearing her come in he climbed back into the room and addressed her almost civilly.  
  
"If I had a broom I could fly down and go round to the entrance hall from there, claiming some incredible kidnapping attempt. But I don't know where I'm going to get a broom from." He turned to Hermione with an evil look on his face. "That's where you come in Granger."  
  
Hermione backed away, arms stretched out in front of her.  
  
"Oh no, I'm not stealing Harry's Firebolt that's going too far." She said shaking her head so vigorously that her hair fell down into her eyes.  
  
Draco made a disgruntled noise.  
  
"Granger, we've been over this. If I'm going to escape from your clutches on a broom, it'll have to be mine."  
  
Hermione's eyes widened as she realised what she would have to do. She almost dropped her cup for the second time that day.  
  
"You can't be serious." She breathed.  
  
Malfoy smirked and took a step towards her.  
  
"Deadly serious." He sneered.  
  
A/N: Aha! I'm so evil!  
  
Thanks to all my reviewers! It really makes my day after double maths!  
  
If anyone has any tips on how to get the HTML to work (I'm a computer illiterate) please tell me in a review or something.  
  
Read and Review! 


	5. Irritating, delusional and stubborn

****

**Disclaimer:** [Insert humorous disclaimer here.]

**Chapter Five:** Irritating, delusional and stubborn.

"You can't be serious." She breathed.  
  
Malfoy smirked and took a step towards her.  
  
"Deadly serious." He sneered.

Hermione clenched her teeth. It was a completely faulty plan. Was she supposed to just wander into the Slytherin dungeons, retrieve the broom and leave again? Did he really expect her to even agree?  
  
Apparently he did.  
  
Draco stood watching her expression curiously; it was obvious she was torn. She was intrigued but she was also counting the faults in his carefully thought out... quite well thought out... barely thought out plan.  
  
It was also obvious that she wanted to hit him.  
  
Hard.  
  
Again.  
  
Draco rubbed his cheek thoughtfully, that had been one hell of a smack, he could feel the force of it even now. He had always thought that if Hermione would hit anyone it would probably be with a book.  
  
He had also suspected that it might be Weasley she hit first. Draco maintained that Weasley had a face that just screamed 'HIT ME'!  
  
But then so did a lot of people in Draco's opinion.  
  
He frowned at Hermione, she seemed to have zoned out again. Maybe she spent so much time concentrating in lessons and on homework that she didn't have enough concentration to remember she was having a conversation with someone.  
  
He poked her in the arm rather roughly. Hermione blinked a few times and bit her lip.  
  
"You seem to do that a lot you know. I always suspected you Gryffindors were weird."  
  
"Shut up Malfoy. If anyone's weird it's you." Hermione glared at the blonde standing in front of her who was regarding her mock thoughtfully.  
  
"Me? Weird? How could you say such a thing?" Draco raised a hand to his forehead dramatically and pretended to be deeply offended.  
  
"Drama queen." Hermione muttered. She put her glass down on the desk with rather more force than was actually necessary. "I should push you out the window."  
  
Draco snorted and looked her up and down. "I'd like to see you try."  
  
Hermione moved the pile of books off of her desk chair and sat down.  
  
"So how do you plan to carry out this," She did air quotes, "'master plan' of yours?"  
  
Draco would never admit it but he was surprised, he definitely hadn't expected Hermione to agree to it. He also would never admit that he had been psyching himself up to dress as a girl.  
  
"Well, uh, you go down to the Slytherin dungeons and get my broom."  
  
"I grasped that part."  
  
"Look, I don't see why I can't just leave in the middle of the night." Draco muttered, stalling for time.  
  
"The common room is hardly ever empty. Besides Harry and Ron have noticed my weird behaviour..."  
  
"Weirder than usual behaviour." Draco interjected. Hermione ignored him.  
  
"...And have been following me and watching me, they're sitting out in the common room now, they'll probably stay there late into the night." Hermione said glancing at the door as if Harry and Ron would burst in at any moment.  
  
"Also, you need lots of beauty sleep, even though it obviously does nothing for you." Draco remarked, regarding her glowering facial features critically. "Anyway, don't Potter and Weasley have better things to do than stalk you obsessively? Like, I don't know, go snog in a broom closet or something?"  
  
"Gah! You're so irritating!"  
  
"That's what makes me so endearing." Draco grinned. Making Hermione mad had always been one of his favourite pastimes; she always took everything so seriously.  
  
"Delusional too." Hermione sat down at her desk and pulled out a new piece of parchment. "I can't just waltz into the dungeons."  
  
"I don't know, I'd pay to see the Slytherins' reactions." He shrugged.  
  
"If you expect me to go into the Slytherin dungeons with no disguise then you might as well jump out of the window without a broom." Hermione had never met anyone else, bar Snape, who could irritate her this much with a few sentences. "I suppose I could use Harry's invisibility cloak."  
  
Draco shook his head.  
  
"Granger have you learnt nothing? I'm not having Scarhead help me!"  
  
Hermione merely smiled grimly. "Ah, stubborn as well."  
  
"Stop analysing my personality Mudblood. I have a solution. I know some spells that will change your look temporarily."  
  
Hermione looked at him as if he was stupid. "Then why don't you use them on yourself?" She asked slowly. Draco rolled his eyes exaggeratedly.  
  
"Because Granger, I can't cast them on myself, you would have to do it and in four words; I. Don't. Trust. You."  
  
"And you think I trust you?" She retorted. Draco merely shrugged casually. "Oh_ fine_," Hermione sighed, "just cast the bloody spell." She looked at him expectantly; Draco shifted his weight from one foot to the other and scratched the back of his neck.  
  
"Actually, uh, you can't go tonight."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Well, we're having a meeting."  
  
"A meeting of what?"  
  
"Well Snape doles out things for us to do to the other houses, by other houses I mean Gryffindor."  
  
Hermione's face suddenly broke out into a smile of understanding. Draco immediately knew he should have made up a plausible lie instead of telling the truth. Telling the truth was always a crap idea.  
  
"Hah! I knew it! Everything always seemed so organised! Tell me, does Snape write out insults on flashcards for you to remember? Are they spelt out phonetically or can you read properly?"  
  
Draco had given Hermione even more ammo for insults than when the impostor Moody had turned him into a ferret and bounced him around the halls.  
  
"Oh ha ha. I hope you realize that this means I'll have to stay here for another night."  
  
Hermione froze and the smile dropped off her face.  
  
"You can't stay here!" She squeaked, dropping the quill she had been holding.  
  
Draco fought off a grin and said as innocently as a Malfoy could,  
  
"Why ever not? I have been for the past few days." He arched a blonde eyebrow and looked at her expectantly. Hermione looked aghast.  
  
"But you're a boy!"  
  
"Observant aren't you? Your point is?"  
  
"If it got out that a boy was in a prefect's room over night..." She trailed off.  
  
"That hasn't stopped any of the other female prefects," Draco rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "Or Finch-Fletchley for that matter."  
  
Hermione looked confused until the implication of what he said hit her. However, she chose to ignore it. She also chose to ignore the fact that she had gone out with Justin for a little while in her fifth year.  
  
"Infuriating git." Hermione pointed her wand at her bed and changed the sheets to clean ones. "Fine. You're sleeping on the sofa."  
  
"Oh no, just sitting on that..." Draco paused to find the right word that would express his feelings about the sofa in question. "...Thing for more than five minutes is hell."  
  
"Exactly." Hermione smiled happily and fluffed her pillows.  
  
Draco's stomach rumbled unexpectedly. Draco scowled, rumbling stomachs were most undignified, especially for a Malfoy. But then, it did give him something to annoy Hermione with.  
  
"Graaaanger." Draco put on his best whiny voice; in fact it was the voice he used on his father when he wanted something. Hermione straightened up from where she had been fluffing pillows, put her hands on her hips and turned to face him, her mouth in a straight line.  
  
"What now Ferret Boy?"  
  
"I'm hungry."  
  
"Good for you." She turned back to her bed.  
  
"_Graaaanger!_"  
  
"What!?"  
  
"Get me something to eat."  
  
"Get it yourself."  
  
"Well in any other situation I would, but in this situation: hell no!" He ran a hand through his hair and made a mental note to take a shower.  
  
"Fine I'll get you your bloody food, but don't blame me if I feel the urge to poison it on the way back." She growled.  
  
Draco simply smirked and disappeared into the bathroom.  
  
Hermione yanked open the door and locked it behind her. The common room was quite full and several people looked up at the racket she had been making. Harry and Ron were doing homework on a table near the fire.  
  
Homework!  
  
Hermione practically slapped her forehead in frustration; Draco had distracted her with his sarcastic comments and demands for food that she had completely forgotten about doing homework. Something strange was happening to her, Hermione Granger did not forget homework.  
  
Stupid Malfoy.  
  
Harry and Ron were frowning confusedly at her. Hermione grinned sheepishly and gave a little wave. She made towards the portrait hole, Harry seeing where she was headed stood up.  
  
"Where're you going 'Mione?"  
  
"I was er, going to uh, the kitchens." She replied, hoping that everything would seem normal and that he would leave her alone.  
  
"What about Spew?" Harry pushed his glasses up his nose; Ron walked over and joined the conversation.  
  
Trust Harry to remember something like that.  
  
"I uh, decided to call it off for a while." She didn't even bother to correct his pronunciation instead she hoped her dreadful attempt at lying wasn't all that obvious.  
  
"We'll come with you then." Ron said, smiling encouragingly.  
  
This was one of the few moments that Hermione wished that Harry and Ron didn't care about her quite so much.  
  
They climbed out of the portrait hole and set off down the corridor in awkward silence. Harry turned to her.  
  
"What is the matter? Don't think we haven't noticed that something's up."  
  
"Nothing, just stressed I suppose."  
  
"Hermione, it's the first week of term."  
  
"Yeah, you should be more like Susan Bones, more free and relaxed." Ron said with a slight grin. Hermione decided to ignore the quirk of the eyebrows that were sent Harry's way.  
  
Hermione fought back a smirk as she realised a way to get them off her case.  
  
"Well you see, it's like this." Harry and Ron looked at her hopefully. "I always get like this in the first few days, I think it's because..." The hopeful looks vanished and Harry and Ron suddenly looked less than enthralled.  
  
Ron coughed and Harry smiled weakly.  
  
"It's good to know you're okay Hermione."  
  
"Yeah, we'll go back to the common room and see you later. C'mon Harry."  
  
They both turned away and Hermione let out a sigh of relief. That should get them off her case for a while.  
  
"Wait."  
  
Hermione cringed and turned back to the boys.  
  
"You ate loads at dinner. Why are you hungry now?"  
  
She smiled feebly.  
  
"A girl thing."  
  
They nodded in affirmation and wandered back to the common room.  
  
Hermione sighed again. Draco owed her big time for this; maybe she could make him confess his love for Snape in a busy corridor. She wondered how many more times she would have to lie until it was all over.  
  
_Stupid Malfoy._  
  
**A/N:** This chapter was a posted a little later than planned, (ahem, try a week) but school caught up with me and unfortunately school is the bigger priority. In the words of Hermione, "Gah!"  
  
But I made this chapter slightly longer to try and make up for it.  
  
Next time: Hermione ventures into the Slytherin dungeons!  
  
Read and Review!


	6. Nose biting is no fun

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter. I do own three odd socks though.  
  
**Chapter Six:** Nose biting is no fun.  
  
Hermione awoke the next morning, any problems or worries had not yet hit her so she lay face down on her bed without opening her eyes, not wanting to think about anything just yet.  
  
It was odd though. Her pillow smelled musty and old, Hermione was pretty sure she had changed the sheets last night. In fact, now she came to think about it, she was very sure. She was also sure that she had fallen asleep in her own bed.  
  
Her eyes flicked open and she sat up on what she had assumed to be her bed.  
  
But it wasn't.  
  
It was the sofa.  
  
Hermione struggled to get disentangled from the mass of old sheets that she had put on the sofa for Draco to sleep under. She landed with a resounding thud on the stone floor for what had to be the third time that week.  
  
By the time she had made it across the floor to her former bed, her hair was even more unruly than it usually was and she was extremely pissed off.  
  
She scrambled up and stood over Draco for what also had to be the third time that week wondering what to do.  
  
She grabbed one of the heavy pillows from the sofa and returned to the side of the bed.  
  
"MALFOY (Whack) YOU IRRITATING, (Whack) SLIMY (Whack, whack) BASTARD! (Whack, whack, WHACK!)"  
  
Draco woke up almost immediately, frowned and attempted to open his eyes but being constantly hit by a heavy pillow rendered this action almost impossible.  
  
Hermione, seeing that he was awake, hit him once more for good measure and straightened up, glowering at him with her hands on her hips.  
  
Draco stretched out and smiled infuriatingly at her.  
  
"You swore." He said accusingly.  
  
"You kicked me out of my own bed!" She retorted in the same tone.  
  
"And..?"  
  
Hermione hit him again with the pillow.  
  
"Irritating, slimy bastard with bad hair!" Hermione ranted again, accentuating every word with a harder hit to the stomach with her pillow.  
  
Draco pushed her pillow away and sat up.  
  
"What's wrong with my hair?"  
  
"You must use a tub of gel a day, doesn't your hair glue itself to the pillow?"  
  
"Well at least I don't look like I stuck my fingers in an electric socket."  
  
Hermione suddenly changed the conversation surprising Draco. "How do you know what an electrical socket is?"  
  
"I'm not completely ignorant about the Muggle world, ignorance is a weakness."  
  
"And putting too much gel on your hair is bad for your health!" Hermione grinned, doing the one thing no one had ever dared to do, she reached across and ruffled his hair.  
  
In one fluid movement Draco stood up and snatched up one of his own pillows, and flashed an evil smile at her. But Hermione had already darted across the room, clutching her pillow and sticking her tongue out at him in reply.  
  
He lunged at her, she tried to dodge his blow but his pillow caught her right on her back. She turned around and gave him a square hit around the face.  
  
"Right, you're for it now." He growled, she yelped and ran across to the bed, jumping on it and putting herself in a defensive position. She grinned at him, daring him to come near her.  
  
He sprang across the room and landed standing on the bed facing her. Hermione managed to get a few early hits in before Draco retaliated. They both smacked each other with the pillows in silence for a little while, making faces at each other, when Draco's pillow suddenly burst.  
  
Feathers rained down on them, covering their hair and shoulders, Hermione couldn't stop herself from bursting out into laughter.  
  
Much to her surprise, Draco burst out laughing as well. She had never heard him laugh properly, she wasn't aware he was actually capable of laughing when it wasn't at someone else's expense. She thought he should do it more often.  
  
Hermione frowned unexpectedly; she had been having a pillow fight with Draco Malfoy, she looked at her opponent and quickly looked away again, Draco Malfoy in only his boxers and her in her pyjamas.  
  
Draco stopped laughing and looked at her curiously, she had spaced out again, except this time she had gone red and it looked like there was something wrong. He looked at his feet, but realised he was only wearing his boxers.  
  
The two teenagers both made 'argh!' noises, Draco dived for his robes and Hermione ran into the bathroom.  
  
Hermione leant against the closed bathroom door, she attempted to compose herself and her overactive imagination, and she also attempted to get the vision of Draco Malfoy in his boxers out of her mind.  
  
Hermione emerged a little later, washed and dressed, to find Draco sitting on the sofa reading 'Potions, Grade 6', fully clothed.  
  
Hermione couldn't ignore the tiny part of her that was slightly disappointed.  
  
"I've been thinking." He remarked not taking his eyes off the book.  
  
Hermione bit back a remark that went along the lines of, 'that's got to be a first', sensing it wasn't the appropriate time to make sarky comments. She instead concentrated on controlling the blush that was threatening to rise up her cheeks.  
  
Draco however, seemed to be not embarrassed in the least. The pillow fight Draco had been assassinated and the old Draco had taken over again.  
  
"Why don't I just leave during lessons when there won't be anyone in the common room?"  
  
"The Fat Lady has a spell on it that stops pupils from returning or leaving the tower during lesson time."  
  
"Interesting."  
  
"What's interesting?"  
  
"The Slytherin dungeon entrance doesn't have a spell on it."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Hermione preferred it when Draco was insulting her or making sarcastic comments, not when he was being extremely haughty and only talking when he needed to. Usually it was hard to get him to shut up at all. Maybe this was his way of hiding his embarrassment.  
  
The feeling of wanting to punch him made a quick return after taking a brief trip away.  
  
There was a pause. Hermione stood in front of Draco who was staring at the book in front of him. His eyes weren't moving.  
  
"I'll come back at lunchtime and you can do the spell. Ok?"  
  
The slightest nod.  
  
"Bye then."  
  
She went out the door and closed it softly. Draco could hear the click of the lock.  
  
He waited for a few minutes before throwing the book down on the floor. It landed flat on the floor, a few of the pages bent. He kicked it.  
  
Spending too much time with Mudblood Granger was going to his head. They had been laughing together. What next? She would start calling him Draco and he would begin to notice how pretty her eyes were. Not that they were pretty of course, he reassured himself, they were just ordinary run of the mill eyes. Mud brown. Eye-shaped. Boring.  
  
Draco rested his head on the back of the sofa and stared despondently at the ceiling. What the hell was he supposed to do until lunchtime? He was already hungry and he needed something to take his mind off the growing emptiness in his stomach.  
  
She hadn't bothered to get him any breakfast.  
  
And he was a growing boy.  
  
Draco hoped he wouldn't get any taller, in some of the older parts of Malfoy Manor he already had to duck so he didn't render himself unconscious on the top of the door frames.  
  
But then he didn't need doorframes to render him unconscious, he had his father for that.  
  
Stupid curse.  
  
That's what got him into the mess with Granger in the first place.  
  
He lazily watched a piece of dust float down from the ceiling.  
  
His head snapped up. Granger had left him alone in her room.  
  
He smirked.

* * *

Hermione shut the door behind her and locked it. By lunchtime it would be over. It would go back to occasional insult swappings in the corridors and glaring contests at mealtimes.  
  
Mealtimes!  
  
She had forgotten to give Draco any breakfast! She shrugged. He'd be fine. He ate enough last night anyway.  
  
She grimaced. He was like an unwanted pet, like an unwanted Blast Ended Screwt.  
  
Seeing Harry and Ron emerge from their dormitory she pushed any thoughts of Malfoy out of her head and hurried over to greet them.  
  
When they sat down at the Gryffindor table, Ron immediately scooped most of the food on to his plate. As much as Ron ate, he always stayed thin and gangly.  
  
"Whoa!" Harry stared wide-eyed at the Slytherin table.  
  
Hermione and Ron craned their necks to see what Harry was looking at. They spotted it.  
  
"What the...?" Ron gaped.  
  
Hermione merely watched in fascination.  
  
Pansy Parkinson was definitely enjoying Draco's disappearance. Not that she was happy he had gone; she was simply enjoying all the attention that came with it.  
  
She had artistically smudged her eye makeup to give the effect that she had been crying, although in Hermione's opinion it made her look like she had swapped DNA with a panda. Periodically she would sniff and dab at her eyes with a frilly black handkerchief.  
  
The three of them caught each other's eyes and burst out laughing, getting a few weird looks from the other Gryffindors.  
  
Hermione glanced at Crabbe and Goyle, it looked like they hadn't even realised Draco was missing.

* * *

Draco emerged from under Hermione's bed, coughing from the dust and pulling out a medium sized box. It was dusty under the bed but the box had no dust on it at all. He grinned and attempted to open it. It was locked.  
  
Draco pulled out his wand, "Alohomora." The box sprang open.  
  
"Really, Granger. I expected more from you." He muttered, his grin widening.  
  
He didn't feel quite so cocky when one of the books leapt up from the box and bit him on the nose. He jumped up and danced around the room, waving his hands uselessly at the book and repeating 'ah ah ah!'  
  
He finally managed to prise the book off his nose and wedged it shut underneath one of the sofa's feet. The box was full of books, ("Huh, that's Granger for you.") Draco prodded each of them thoughtfully. When he was sure another attack on his nose was not on the cards he pulled out the book on the top of the pile.  
  
On the first page, was written,  
  
_"Diary. 1997 (First Year, Hogwarts)"_  
  
The grin returned to his face.  
  
There were only five books in the box, from first year to fifth year. The evil nose biting book was probably this year's diary, but he wasn't going to brave that again.  
  
Well he was in Slytherin; bravery wasn't an option.  
  
He flicked through some of the pages; it seemed that, judging from the entries, the Dream Team wasn't quite as glued to each other as they were now.  
  
An idea hit him, he rummaged through the box till he found Hermione's third year diary. He thumbed through the pages.  
  
"What date was it? Ah yes here we go."  
  
_Malfoy is an insufferable git!_  
  
"Nice beginning."  
  
_He is so irritating! I could just punch his lights out! Oh no wait, I did!_  
  
A look of indignation crossed Draco's face. "She did not punch me! She merely slapped me! This account is biased! Biased I tell you!" He looked up and remembered that there was no one else in the room and nobody but Hermione would be reading this anytime soon – well, bar him.  
  
_He got his daddy to get Hagrid fired..._  
  
"I do not call him 'Daddy' I call him a manly 'Father'!"  
  
_...and was making snide comments, doesn't he have anything better to do?  
_  
"Well actually I... no, she's right, I don't have anything better to do."  
  
_Harry and Ron looked like they were about to punch him, but before they could do anything I slapped him, hard, around the face! Hah! Stupid Malfoy. I could see the surprise and shock in his eyes. He does have rather nice eyes come to think of it..._  
  
"Hah! She thinks my eyes are nice!"  
  
_...It's a shame they're wasted on him though. Harry's eyes are nicer anyway!  
_  
"Why does Potter win every time? My eyes are much nicer than his! Argh! Indignation!"  
  
Draco threw down the diary in annoyance and picked up her fourth year diary instead, he flipped through the pages until something caught his eye and he grinned maliciously.

* * *

Fate liked to torment the Gryffindors by pairing them with the Slytherins for Potions every year. Hermione stood outside the Potions dungeons with Harry and Ron, waiting for their Potions master to arrive.  
  
Maybe it was Snape that made sure Gryffindors and Slytherins were partnered so he could mock them in full view of his house.  
  
Or maybe he was actually giving demonstrations that he could refer to in the Slytherins' weekly meetings. Hermione grinned at the memory of Draco's face when he realised he shouldn't have told her that specific piece of information.  
  
"Well, well, well. What have we here?"  
  
Hermione, Harry and Ron all looked up to see Crabbe and Goyle leering at them. Hermione almost laughed when she saw Crabbe's left hand clutching a flashcard by his side.  
  
"If it isn't Potter and the Golden Team." Crabbe was putting on his best drawl, it didn't come anywhere near Draco's, he was the master of drawling – it came naturally to him.  
  
"Um, I think you mean Dream Team." Harry said mock innocently, Ron sniggered.  
  
"That's what he said." Goyle bristled, trying to stare Harry down.  
  
"No he didn't, he said 'Potter and the Golden Team.' There's a difference." Ron replied, Hermione had to look away so she didn't laugh at Crabbe and Goyle's bewildered faces.  
  
"Yeah, if you're going to insult me at least get it right." Harry said, coughing to try and mask his laughter.  
  
"Your mothers must have been apes to make you so stupid." Ron said, glancing at Hermione and winking.  
  
"Yeah, well, your mother ate... um, so many cakes and stuff that she... uh..." Goyle stuttered, attempting to think of an insult.  
  
"Got fat and stuff!" Crabbe said triumphantly, Goyle clapped him on the back and the pair wandered off congratulating each other on their amazing wit.  
  
The three Gryffindors laughed and Ron remarked.  
  
"I hope Malfoy never comes back, it's much more fun like this!"

* * *

Meanwhile Draco was memorizing parts of Hermione's diaries for later use.  
  
It always helped to be prepared.

* * *

**A/N:** Wouldn't you know it, this chapter is longer again!  
  
I have to say, usually I get bored with the stories I write and stop writing them, but I'm enjoying writing this story and probably won't stop writing it until I've finished it or I am blown away by a freak whirlwind.  
  
**Bakuraisho-ur-cute** – Woo, I had barely put up Chapter Five when you reviewed it! Thanks!  
  
**Miss W D Halliwell** – There's no need to sleep talk when there is diary reading on offer! Good idea though.  
  
**Mikasa Wormhole** - Now, is that a good interesting or a bad interesting?  
  
**Emily** – Yeah, I know what you mean, I always find Harry and Ron hard to write. I didn't like their bit in the last chapter, hopefully this one is better!  
  
Anyway, read and review!  
  
**Calamari Soup**


	7. You're turning me into a what?

****

**Disclaimer:** No it doesn't belong to me, I wouldn't mind owning it though.  
  
**Chapter 7:** You're turning me into a what?!  
  
"Okay Ferret Boy, let's get this over with."  
  
Draco opened an eye. Being turned into a ferret once gave everyone – even people he didn't know – ammo against him to last a lifetime.  
  
Forever immortalised as 'the guy who was turned into a ferret and bounced around the halls'.  
  
Or Ferret Boy for short.  
  
He gave an exaggerated stretch.  
  
"Lunchtime already? How time flies."  
  
Hermione dropped her bag on the floor with a thump and glared at him.  
  
"Not in a jokey mood, eh?" Draco asked her, sitting up on the bed. "Oh well."  
  
Hermione turned her back on him and began to tidy up a pile of parchment on her desk. Draco cleared his throat quietly. She didn't look around.  
  
"Y'know Granger, _Ron certainly has changed over the summer, he's even better looking than he was last year_."  
  
Hermione froze mid shuffle. Draco continued in a lazy way.  
  
"_He has lovely eyes and a great sense of humour_. Really Granger, you are strangely obsessed with eyes. Oh and, while I think of it, Potter does not have nicer eyes than me!"  
  
Hermione turned around slowly, a horrified look spreading across her face.  
  
"_But he only and ever will see me as a friend. Hermione the bookworm_."  
  
"You read my diary!"  
  
"Diaries, plural."  
  
Unexpectedly, Hermione managed to compose herself. She shrugged and turned her attention to the parchment again.  
  
"It's a good thing that they have spells on them then." She said calmly. Draco scowled. "If anyone reads my diaries then they have a hex placed on them – if they try to tell anyone, except me, the contents then the hex is activated. And I must say, it is a particularly horrible hex."  
  
Draco looked thoughtful for a minute before speaking.  
  
"What if I write down some of your entries and paste copies around the school?"  
  
"It still counts, plus I would hex you to the middle of next week in addition to the diary hex."  
  
"Oh well. I can still torment you about it, can't I?"  
  
"If you must." Hermione sounded irritated.  
  
"Okay then. _Ron Weasley_?! You had a crush on _Ron Weasley_ in fourth year?!"  
  
"It's not like he felt the same way. Besides I'm over it now." Hermione said primly.  
  
"Ron Join-the-freckles-on-my-face-and-see-what-shape-you-get Weasley?"  
  
"Yes. It's not always what's on the outside that counts." Hermione was becoming angry. Draco grinned; annoying Hermione should be made a sport. "That's why I would never go out with you!"  
  
Draco's grin vanished and he looked up at her curiously.  
  
"Why would you never go out with me?"  
  
"Because, you may be one of the best looking boys in our year," Draco allowed himself a smug smile, "but inside you're pure malice and arrogance. I'm surprised even Pansy sticks with you."  
  
Draco had stood up and crossed the room in one smooth movement. Hermione blinked and looked up at Draco who was standing in front of her.  
  
He seemed to be considering something, his grey eyes boring into her brown eyes. Hermione contemplated saying something. But what to say? Her mind had gone blank of all but one thought.  
  
Maybe his eyes _were_ nicer than Harry's.  
  
Draco drew closer to Hermione; he was frowning slightly but didn't seem to be angry.  
  
Hermione berated herself mentally for almost enjoying being in such close proximity to a Malfoy.  
  
Little did she know that Draco was doing the same thing.  
  
Then, as suddenly as he had stepped close to her he moved away again. He slipped out of his cloak and took his tie off. He passed them to Hermione silently.  
  
"What are these for?" Hermione asked, examining the green and silver striped tie and the cloak.  
  
Draco rolled his eyes.  
  
"Granger, you don't really expect to wander into the Slytherin dungeons in Gryffindor uniform do you?"  
  
Hermione's face reddened in embarrassment at her stupidity. The 'moment' had passed and Draco had reverted to his normal self. Maybe they could just forget it happened.  
  
She rolled up the cloak and tie and put them under her arm. Draco pulled out his wand.  
  
"You ready?" He asked.  
  
"I never thought I'd willingly let you put a spell on me."  
  
Draco smirked. "I'm going to take that as a yes."  
  
"You do that."  
  
"Granger, if you're smart mouthed then I may accidentally turn your hair green and refuse to turn it back." He eyed her smugly and twirled his wand around in his fingers.  
  
"Just get on with it."  
  
Draco waved his wand in a complicated manner and mumbled something Hermione couldn't quite make out.  
  
A bright red jet of light shot out of the end of his wand and encircled Hermione. It thrummed around her for a while before vanishing.  
  
"You'll have two minutes, roughly, until the change begins to happen." He said, pocketing his wand. He looked annoyingly smug. "Then you will have half an hour to get the broom."  
  
There was a short pause.  
  
"Malfoy."  
  
"Yes Granger?"  
  
"What am I going to look like?"  
  
Draco attempted to look innocent – it didn't work. Hermione put her hands on her hips.  
  
"Well, I thought you'd be too recognisable as a girl."  
  
Hermione's eyes widened.  
  
"You're making me into a_ boy_?"  
  
Draco fought to hold back his laughter at Hermione's face.  
  
"More like a slightly effeminate boy I would say."  
  
Hermione scowled.  
  
"Like you then?"  
  
It was Hermione's turn to grin as Draco spluttered indignantly.  
  
"I am not effeminate! I just have delicate features."  
  
"Yeah sure, and I'm secretly in love with Snape!"  
  
Draco scratched his chin thoughtfully.  
  
"I could see it."  
  
Hermione snatched up a pillow from the sofa and threw it at him. Draco laughed and dodged it. Hermione smiled and straightened her robes.  
  
"So what's the Slytherin password?"

* * *

A few minutes later Hermione found herself in Slytherin robes with her Gryffindor robes under her arm wandering down the corridors in the other direction to many hungry, swarming students.  
  
Absent-mindedly she reached up and touched her hair. It now sat on her head in a spiky mass, she was pretty sure Draco had made it a dark brown. What she really wanted to do was find a mirror and see what she looked like, but she was working to a time limit.  
  
Maybe on the way back.  
  
She replayed Draco's directions over and over in her brain. Seeing the correct staircase she descended down to the dungeons. A labyrinth of corridors stretched out in front of her. She reached into her pockets and pulled out a scrap of parchment with the directions and password written on it.  
  
Hermione weaved through the dimly lit corridors until she came to a part of wall that looked slightly different from the rest.  
  
By different, it looked like it had slightly less damp than the other walls.  
  
Hermione was suddenly very grateful for her cosy common room, with the constantly burning fire and the lack of mould.  
  
Salazar must have really hated his house.  
  
Hermione flipped the piece of parchment over; she read the password and mouthed it a few times.  
  
"_C-cautelous_!"  
  
The hidden door slid open and Hermione stepped through into the Slytherin common room.  
  
It wasn't much better inside; everything was in the house colours as was the Gryffindor common room but all the green gave the room a murky, cave like feel.  
  
No wonder all the Slytherins had corrosive personalities.  
  
There were a few Slytherins in the common room, most of them huddled in front of the weak fire or sitting half hidden by shadows in the corners of the room.  
  
Hermione gave some of them a weak smile. They only scowled at her.  
  
Obviously smiling wasn't the thing to do in Slytherin.  
  
She went up the staircase into Draco's dorm and found his bed. His broom should be on top of his trunk.  
  
She noticed a bunch of flowers lying on his bed from a certain Pansy Parkinson and allowed herself a small grin.  
  
Draco's bed was oddly tidy compared to what must be Crabbe and Goyle's. Hermione wondered whether someone had tidied his bed out of respect or he was just a tidy person.  
  
She frowned. Actually, it being Malfoy, he would probably have someone to make his bed for him.  
  
He probably had someone to lick his shoes as well.  
  
She took her attention away from his bed and looked to where Draco said his broom was. Except there was a slight flaw.  
  
His broom wasn't there. 

* * *

_Ten minutes earlier._  
  
Blaise Zabini turned to Crabbe and Goyle who were staring entranced at Draco's broom.  
  
"Shall we take it for a spin?" He grinned at them. Crabbe scratched his head and Goyle frowned.  
  
"But Draco..." Goyle began, not taking his eyes off the broom.  
  
"Isn't here. He won't ever find out. That is, if he does return at all." Blaise goaded.  
  
The two burly boys still hesitated so Blaise attempted a different approach.  
  
"It's the fastest broom in the world. Just think, if Draco was here now he wouldn't even let you this close."  
  
Crabbe glanced at Goyle.  
  
"Alright. Just for half an hour." He said slowly. Blaise grinned again and picked up the broom, the three boys left the dorm.  
  
There was no loyalty amongst Slytherins. 

* * *

Draco stared out of the window feeling quite pleased with himself. Hermione had looked very different when she had left. He had changed her hair to a very short dark brown, he had vanished the spattering of freckles over her nose and changed her eyes to a light blue.  
  
She definitely wouldn't be recognisable.  
  
Draco idly watched some figures enjoying their lunch break by taking it in turns to fly around the quidditch pitch.  
  
It was odd. No one had readily wanted to help him before. Sure Hermione wanted him out of her room as soon as possible but she could have bundled him out of her window or just kicked him out. Instead she had gone out of her way to help him.  
  
Thinking about it now, if it was the other way round, he probably wouldn't have helped her.  
  
That was the difference between Gryffindors and Slytherins.  
  
The door burst open and Hermione, who had turned back to her normal self, hurried in.  
  
Empty handed.  
  
"Where's the broom?" He asked.  
  
"It wasn't there."  
  
"What?"  
  
"The broom. It wasn't there." Hermione sounded tired.  
  
Draco glanced out of the window, the figures definitely looked familiar.  
  
"Zabini." He growled making Hermione jump.  
  
"I want you out today. So there's one other option."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
Hermione grinned evilly. Draco knew he wouldn't like the answer.  
  
"You get to dress up for a change."  
  
**A/N:** Well, I'm supposed to be revising but I think I know what the Spanish for 'I have a headache' is pretty well.  
  
Anyway, the Slytherin password _Cautelous_ means cautious, cunning or treacherous.  
  
Latin – Cautela 

French – Cauteleux

Spanish - Cauteloso  
  
I just thought it suited the Slytherin personality.  
  
Thanks for the reviews!  
  
Read and Review!


	8. Skirts and Daisies

**Disclaimer:** Blah blah blah NOT MINE blah blah!  
  
**Chapter 8:** Skirts and Daisies.  
  
"Look, Granger. If this is one of your strangely twisted jokes to try and keep me here because you can't resist my looks, charms and wit..." Draco trailed off as Hermione smirked at him.  
  
He was slightly thrown, as he wasn't sure whether people were allowed to smirk at him. No one had ever really smirked at him before – it didn't seem right. He was the one supposed to be doing the smirking.  
  
"You really think highly of yourself don't you?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Seriously?"  
  
"No."  
  
Hermione blinked. That wasn't the response she had been expecting.  
  
Draco turned away from her and grimaced, he'd done it again. He'd said something he didn't mean to say.  
  
It was like when he had told Pansy that he thought she looked good in a particular top. She had worn it for the rest of the month in an attempt to impress him until he had sneaked into her room and cut it into small pieces.  
  
To this day she thought it had been her owl.  
  
There would be definite repercussions from saying that small word to Granger. With Pansy it could result in something rather funny but with Granger it was downright dangerous.  
  
Suddenly his stomach rumbled and he could hear Granger give a small snort of laughter behind him. He placed a hand on his stomach and frowned.  
  
"Ok Granger lets get this over with, make my hair brown or something." He said turning round. Hermione raised a brow at him.  
  
"Two things. One, you haven't even taught me the spell yet. And two, you can't expect me to be a boy for a half an hour without you having to be a girl!" She finished triumphantly.  
  
"Oh no. You're not serious?"  
  
"No, I'm not serious."  
  
"You're lying!"  
  
"And?"  
  
"Gryffindors don't lie!" Draco spluttered lamely.  
  
"Maybe you're rubbing off on me."  
  
"That's even worse!" He practically yelled. Hermione laughed at the horrified look on his face.  
  
"Okay I won't turn you into a girl. What's the spell?" Draco still looked edgy and untrusting but he relented.  
  
"It's _visio-mutatio_." He said grudgingly.  
  
"What about the complicated hand gestures?"  
  
"I only did them to make the spell seem more impressive." Draco said offhandedly. "Just say the words and concentrate on what you want me to look like. I put a time limit on my one, yours should work straight away."  
  
It surprised Hermione to realise that Draco was actually good at magic. She had always assumed that he spent all his time thinking of ways to mock Harry – apparently this was not true, he studied too.  
  
"Okay." Hermione drew her wand out of her robe pocket. Draco gave her a lopsided grin, which surprised her a little.  
  
"To quote you from about half an hour ago: 'I never thought I'd willingly let you put a spell on me'."  
  
"_Visio-mutatio_!" The red jet of light shot out from Hermione's wand and surrounded Draco who looked extremely worried.  
  
When the light disappeared a very disgruntled Draco emerged. Only his hair had changed, what had once been silvery strands was now a bright green mohican. He crossed his arms and glared at her.  
  
"I don't appreciate that you know." He growled, prodding his new hairstyle disdainfully.  
  
"Well to be honest, it uses the same amount of gel to get that hairstyle as it does to get your helmet-hair style."  
  
"Stop digging at the hairstyle! My father likes it okay?"  
  
"Sorry. I was just practicing." Hermione fiddled with her wand as she thought out loud. "I think brown eyes and long black hair. What do you think about freckles?"  
  
"Get bent Granger. You said you wouldn't turn me into a girl!"  
  
"I lied."  
  
"Damn you Gryffindors and your innocence!"  
  
"_Visio-mutatio_!"  
  
When the red light subsided for the second time Draco was left standing with long, straight black hair and dark brown eyes. He was still scowling. Hermione tried to not laugh but failed. Draco's scowl deepened.  
  
"It suits you."  
  
"Shut up Granger."  
  
"No really. Maybe you should dye your hair."  
  
Hermione opened one of her drawers and took out two pairs of socks.  
  
"What are _they_ for?" Draco asked, not really wanting to know the answer.  
  
"Put them down your shirt."  
  
"_What_?!"  
  
"If you're going to be a convincing girl, you need..." Hermione waved the socks to make her point. Draco grabbed them.  
  
"Okay, okay I get the picture." Moodily he stuffed the socks down his top. "If word gets out about this I will personally throw you out of the astronomy tower window and feed you to Potter's owl."  
  
Hermione attempted to look scared. It was hard to take Draco seriously when he had socks down his shirt.  
  
"Here, put this on." Hermione said, passing Draco a skirt that had been enlarged to fit him and some Gryffindor robes.  
  
"Oh no! That's going too far!" Draco protested, pushing the skirt back at Hermione.  
  
"Do you want to stay much longer in here with me?"  
  
"Point taken." Draco disappeared into the bathroom and reappeared in a knee length pleated skirt and Gryffindor robes looking extremely pissed off.  
  
"You will pay for this Granger." Draco said through clenched teeth.  
  
"Don't be like that Draco, you really have very nice knees."  
  
Draco simply glowered at her.  
  
"You ready?"  
  
"As ready as I'll ever be to dress up as a girl and parade around Hogwarts." He replied sarcastically.  
  
Hermione opened the door and pushed Draco out into the Gryffindor common room. He stumbled forward. A few Gryffindors glanced up but soon turned back to what they had been doing. Hermione closed the door behind her and looked up sharply as voices from the staircase to the boys' dormitory reached her.  
  
Harry and Ron strolled into the common room talking about something – Quidditch probably. They saw Hermione and waved. Hermione hoped that they wouldn't come over, but whatever cosmic force was up there was ignoring her. She turned to Draco, he was scowling again.  
  
"Hermione who's your friend?" Ron asked, grinning at Draco. A murderous look spread across Draco's face, Ron didn't notice.  
  
Hermione glanced at Harry who shrugged. Ron kept glancing at a possibly homicidal Draco. Draco made a very good-looking girl; it wasn't her fault that Ron was attracted to good-looking girls.  
  
An incredibly evil grin spread across Hermione's face. Draco winced; the girl should have really been in Slytherin. He suddenly felt extremely afraid of what Hermione might do.  
  
"This is Daisy. She's in fifth year."  
  
How degrading. Not only did he have to pretend to be a girl but he had to have one of the worst names ever _and_ it was a lot like Pansy's.  
  
Ron grabbed his hand and shook it vigorously.  
  
"Nice to meet you Daisy. You know, you look familiar. But I'm sure I would have remembered such a pretty face wouldn't I?" He gave what should have been a suave smile but looked more like a grimace to Draco.  
  
Draco was desperately trying to make Potter have a moment of madness in which he would attempt to kill Weasley.  
  
So far his psychic powers seemed to be failing dismally.  
  
"So Daisy, do you have a date to the Yule Ball?" Ron asked, not letting go of his hand. Draco shook his hand to try and dislodge Ron's.  
  
There was a snort from Hermione's general direction.  
  
"I'm not your type, believe me." He said in a falsetto voice. He could feel Hermione trying frantically to hold her laughter in. Potter was looking at her strangely.  
  
"How can you be so sure?" Ron tried to look appealing instead of suave – he ended up looking like one of those annoying dogs that Draco always had an impulse to kick, it could have been because his father had one.  
  
This was it. He couldn't take it anymore. Time to get evil.  
  
"Even if I was a girl I wouldn't lower my standards to go with a gangly, ugly ba... Ow! I mean, female intuition and all that crap." Hermione had kicked him sharply in the shin and given him a warning look.  
  
"You're feisty. I like that in a girl." Did the boy never give up? Draco fought the urge to turn Ron into a slug and stand on him.  
  
"Well go find one."  
  
"Why won't you go to the Yule Ball with me?" No. It was proven, Weasley never gave up.  
  
"Do you want a list? Ow! Stop doing that! Ahem, I mean, we just met five minutes ago."  
  
"But the Yule Ball would be a great place to get to know each other."  
  
"You really ask the first girl you see don't you?" Draco muttered, he knew that Hermione had heard him. She was having a hard time already trying to control her giggles. Ron frowned, trying to hear what he said. "I said, I think not."  
  
Ron took a step forward and Draco almost fell over backwards trying to get away from him. Ron brushed a hand up Draco's arm.  
  
Hermione had to have sit down from holding in her laughter.  
  
"But I want to get to know you." Ron murmured.  
  
Hermione seemed to be having a coughing fit; Harry had hurried over and was hitting her on the back.  
  
"But I'd rather not get to know you, or come within 100 metres of you."  
  
A few minutes later Ron was lying on the floor staring dazedly at the ceiling. Harry came running over.  
  
"Are you all right mate? That was one hell of a punch!"  
  
"I think I'm in love!"  
  
Outside Hermione was staring at Draco in a mixture of shock, amusement and disbelief.  
  
"You punched him!"  
  
Draco grinned at her shock.  
  
"He pinched my arse! He had to pay!"  
  
The two strolled down the corridors in what seemed to be an odd comfortable silence.  
  
"Y'know, if I had known what Ron's flirting skills were like in fourth year then I probably wouldn't have had a crush on him." Draco didn't say anything. Hermione grimaced. "I know he's my best friend but what was with the weird faces?"  
  
The ends of Draco's mouth curved upwards.  
  
"I don't know. Maybe he ate something that disagreed with him." He paused. "I never thought I'd see the day where Weasley would be hitting on me. That was just a disturbing experience. Never speak of it again."  
  
Hermione nodded. Draco's hair was slowly getting shorter and paler.  
  
"Hey, you're turning back to normal." She said. "You better hide somewhere, you don't want your fellow Slytherins seeing you in a skirt."  
  
"That's true. But I was just getting used to having warm ears." He complained and tossed his hair exaggeratedly. Hermione laughed.  
  
He turned to face her frowning slightly. Hermione suddenly felt very nervous and self-conscious under his eyes. His gaze seemed more amplified by the darkness of his eyes that was slowly fading back to his normal slate grey.  
  
"Bye Mudblood." He said. There was no malice in his tone but it still stung and dampened the mood. He turned away from her and jogged down the corridor. His hair now its normal length but still quite dark brown.  
  
Hermione turned around and began the walk back to the Gryffindor common room where she knew that her room would seem strangely empty without Draco hogging the shower, examining her possessions and making sarcastic remarks about anything and anyone.  
  
One day when she was old and grey she would tell Ron who it was he had been hitting on.  
  
On second thoughts, maybe she wouldn't tell him when they were old and grey it would probably kill him. She'd have to make do with telling him when they were middle-aged.  
  
She stopped in her tracks as she realised two things. One, Draco hadn't said thank-you for anything she had done for him, the ungrateful bastard!  
  
Two, the lunch break was over and if she didn't run she would be late for Herbology.  
  
**A/N**: Well, end of year exams are over and I think I failed at least most of them. The worst part is yet to come, the results!  
  
_Visio – Face  
  
Mutatio – Change (Rough translation)_  
  
**Thanks to all my reviewers for this chapter: Miss W D Halliwell, Dracos- DAMNsexy27, NeLLy22, Erilyn Rose, wackoramaco87, Melein, Male-chan, LadyScribe, it's me!, tennisplaya278, Bakuraisho-ur-cute and pirate-elfgal.**  
  
**Melein:** I know what you mean, I found the 'new' Draco particularly pathetic and annoying. My friends found it funny. Me? I found it plain irritating! They wrecked my favourite character! I am slightly miffed.  
  
**Next Time:** Draco returns to Hogwarts! 


	9. The poor book!

**Disclaimer: Did I mention recently that it's not mine?**  
  
**Chapter 9: The poor book!**  
  
"Hermione, are you going to eat that?"  
  
Ron's voice broke through Hermione's train of thought, she blinked startled and turned to Ron who was eying her now slightly gooey shepherd's pie. While she chewed over the day's events she had been trailing her fork through her food – it now looked like someone had been sick on her plate.  
  
Not attractive.  
  
Ron didn't seem put off, she shook her head and he scraped the mutant goo onto his own plate.  
  
Harry looked up from his own plate.  
  
"Are you ok? You've been staring at the Slytherin table for almost half an hour." He asked. Hermione's eyes widened. She hadn't actually been looking at the Slytherin table as such; she had been staring into space in the direction of the Slytherin table.  
  
Now she actually looked at the other house's table she could see Malcolm Baddock staring back at her with a scared expression on his face. He probably thought that she had been staring at him for the last half hour.  
  
She wasn't that scary was she?  
  
"Can either of you two see Daisy?" Ron asked, barely stopping the journey of food to mouth while he spoke.  
  
Hermione took a glance around the Gryffindor table for show whilst she attempted to force down the grin that was threatening to appear on her face.  
  
"No. She doesn't seem to be here. Maybe she felt ill or something." Hermione replied, biting her lip in order to stop laughing.  
  
"Anyway." Harry began to speak again and Hermione tore her gaze away from the rest of the Gryffindors and back onto her friend. "There was something that I wanted to ask you." He cleared his throat nervously and Hermione could see he was tense.  
  
"What is it Harry?" She asked. If she had been looking at Ron sitting next to her instead of at Harry across the table she would have seen Ron grin and give Harry thumbs up.  
  
"Well, I was uh, wondering if you wanted to go to the Yule Ball with me?" He cleared his throat again and looked up from where he had been closely examining his food.  
  
Hermione's mouth fell open. That was the last thing she had been expecting him to say. She hadn't even thought he'd been considering even thinking about asking her. Harry seemed to take her shocked silence as a rejection.  
  
"Well, you know, it's okay if you wanted to go with Neville or," He swivelled around in his seat to see the Slytherin table. "Or what seems to be Malcolm Baddock. That's uh, fine with me."  
  
Hermione, embarrassingly, went red.  
  
"But Harry I..." But she was cut off; the huge double doors of the Great Hall were opening. Everyone turned to see what was happening, jostling each other and trying to get a good view of the doors.  
  
Hermione, who had an idea of what was happening, sighed irritably. He could never do things by halves. It was all or nothing.  
  
Draco, it seemed, was pushing the doors at just the right speed that they creaked loudly. Hermione hoped it was Draco; it would be odd if it were Voldemort and his Death Eaters who suddenly burst in and killed everyone.  
  
No not odd, that would just be plain ironic.  
  
But it was Draco who was opening the door. [Think in LOTR – How Aragorn opened the door.] A collective gasp ran through the students. There was a squeal from the Slytherin table; Hermione knew it was Pansy Parkinson without having to look up.  
  
Curiosity overtook her and she decided to look up. He had obviously spent a lot of time thinking about his entrance – well, he had had the entire afternoon.  
  
He had probably gone back to the Slytherin common room during lessons and changed from his very lovely skirt to his normal school uniform. He had ripped his clothes and it looked like he had rolled in a puddle of mud.  
  
Hermione was amazed that a Malfoy would willingly destroy his clothes.  
  
His hair fell over his eyes in silvery strands, which Hermione personally thought looked better than his previous hairstyle even though it was caked with mud.  
  
All in all it looked as though he had been in a fight with nature, and lost.  
  
Dumbledore and a few of the other teachers rose, looking surprised and pleased. Hermione raised an eyebrow, it seemed that they hadn't actually bothered to search for Draco at all.  
  
Draco walked down the aisle between the Gryffindor and Slytherin tables with his Malfoy smirk still in place, which was pretty hard to do, especially when everyone is looking at you and you look like the creature from the deep.  
  
There seemed to be an awed silence. Either in happiness or disappointment, Hermione couldn't tell.  
  
He didn't even glance at Hermione as he strolled past. She looked at Ron and Harry who were wearing identical looks of shock, although Ron looked slightly more as though his head might explode at any minute.  
  
Draco stopped in front of the teacher's table. There was a brief silence.  
  
"Mister Malfoy. Would you care to explain to us your disappearance and your choice of attire?" Asked Dumbledore finally.  
  
"I would indeed Professor. I was taking a walk around the grounds one night when three huge men attacked me and carried me away." He paused as Snape interrupted him.  
  
"What would they want with a Hogwarts student?" He asked raising an eyebrow.  
  
"I assume to try and get a ransom from my father." He turned to face the school. "We are terribly rich you know." He grinned and turned back to the teachers.  
  
Hermione snorted at his performance but when most of the hall turned to look at her she turned it into a cough.  
  
"May I continue?" Draco enquired. Dumbledore nodded, McGonagall looked as though she wasn't sure whether to believe him or not. "They knocked me out and took me to their lair. They tied me up and I had to live off gruel. They forced me to listen to the Spice Girls until I knew all the words – it was horrible."  
  
"Were they Death Eaters Mister Malfoy?" Professor McGonagall asked, her lips pursed, carefully avoiding the fact that his father was suspected of being a Death Eater.  
  
"No. Just plain wizards I think." He replied. "Anyway, I managed to find a rock..."  
  
"With your hands tied up?" McGonagall interrupted.  
  
Draco gave her a tight smile. "I was sitting on the floor with my hands tied, the rock was on the floor by my hands. By rubbing the rock against the ropes tying me I managed to get free..."  
  
"And where was your wand throughout all of this?" McGonagall seemed determined to find a flaw in his story.  
  
A look of remembrance flicked over Draco's face but he instantly changed it back to his normal self-righteous look.  
  
"It was in my room in the Slytherin dungeons, I had left it there by mistake." He said tightly. "Anyway, I managed to escape from the room holding me. Before I could completely escape I was caught by two of the guards. Luckily I managed to fight them off – I broke one of their noses and rendered the other unconscious."  
  
"A teenage boy against two grown men – how highly unlikely." McGonagall murmured, her eyebrows arching abnormally high in disbelief.  
  
"Let the boy speak Minerva." Muttered Dumbledore frowning slightly.  
  
"Thank you sir. I managed to escape and I walked all the way back here. That, I think, would explain my disappearance and my attire."  
  
"Thank-you Mister Malfoy. If you would like to go back to your dorm and tidy yourself up."  
  
"Yes sir." And with that Draco turned and strolled back through the tables. When he passed where Harry, Ron and Hermione were sitting he caught Hermione's eye for a second and winked.  
  
Smug bastard.  
  
--  
  
All the way back to the Gryffindor common room Harry and Ron complained about Draco's reappearance. Saying things like, "If I was one of the kidnappers I'd knock him about a bit just to bring him down a few pegs."  
  
When they entered the common room, Hermione noticed Lavender and Parvati giggling about something in a corner.  
  
Probably Draco's hair.  
  
Hermione left Harry and Ron ranting in the common room and went into her room to get her homework.  
  
There was an owl sitting on her windowsill. It looked as haughty as an owl could possibly be – which meant it could only belong to one person. She'd seen it enough times delivering sweets to Draco.  
  
Crossing the room in a few strides she went to the owl – which puffed itself up – and gave it a firm push.  
  
The owl gave a surprised squawk and fell backwards out of the window.  
  
Hermione turned back to her desk and began to gather up pieces of parchment. There was a hoot and the black owl landed on her head dropping the letter on the desk in front of her.  
  
"Oh alright." Hermione muttered opening the letter.  
  
_Meet me in the library. _

_DM._  
  
"Look, I read it." She waved the piece of parchment at the owl. "You can get off my head now." The owl refused to budge and entangled its claws more firmly in her already wildly bushy hair.  
  
"Fine! I suppose you're going to stay there until I go to the library aren't you?" The owl gave a hoot in response.  
  
"Okay, I get the picture. Maybe he wants to say thank you for helping him. Finally." She muttered, half to herself and half to the owl perched on her head.  
  
"I needed to go anyway." She told herself and exited her room.  
  
"I bet he didn't really fight off two guards." Harry was saying when she went back into the common room (ducking when she went through the door so she didn't give the owl brain damage.).  
  
"I'm just going to the library." She told them, hoping they wouldn't look up. They glanced up but didn't seem to notice her new hair accessory.  
  
Once Hermione had gone Harry turned to Ron who was staring despondently into the fire.  
  
"Was it just me or did she have an owl on her head?"  
  
"Probably just her hair."  
  
--  
  
A newly clean Draco was sitting at one of the older tables at the back of the library waiting for her. Hermione took a second to notice that he had not gelled his hair back as he usually did. He grinned wickedly when he saw her approach.  
  
"I see Tyran did what I asked." He said, ignoring Hermione's disgruntled face and holding out an arm for Tyran to perch on.  
  
"Yeah, thanks for that."  
  
"What, were you worried he might mess up your hair?" He regarded her hair thoughtfully. "I can't tell the difference."  
  
Hermione dropped her books heavily on the table in response and attempted to smooth down her hair.  
  
It didn't work.  
  
Draco sat watching her try to control her hair for a while with a strangely placid look on his face.  
  
"Well get on with it then." Hermione said, abandoning the conquest of her hair.  
  
"Get on with what?"  
  
"Your thanks, your appreciation, your gratitude to me for helping you." She replied as if he were slow.  
  
"Oh that. I didn't ask you to come here for that. No. Actually I left my wand in your room and I'd like it back."  
  
"Would you?"  
  
"Yes. I would."  
  
"So you're not going to say thank you."  
  
"No."  
  
There was a pause.  
  
"You don't get your wand back then."  
  
"But that's not fair!" Draco sounded like a petulant schoolboy.  
  
"Observant."  
  
"I need my wand. You don't need my thanks."  
  
"I risked my neck for you. No thanks, no wand."  
  
Draco stood up and glared at her, unbalancing Tyran as he stood. Tyran took off and settled himself on a nearby bookcase. Hermione didn't look in the least bit intimidated.  
  
"I refuse to say thank you." He huffed. "Malfoys don't say thank you."  
  
"Just like they don't dance, don't like muggle borns and don't ever stop smirking?" Hermione stood up and glowered back at him.  
  
"I'm actually a very nice dancer I'll have you know."  
  
"I'll be sure to remember. When I'm old and reminiscing I'll think, 'oh yes that Malfoy boy, what a lovely dancer.'"  
  
"I would have thought you'd remember me as 'that annoying prat'."  
  
"Oh you agree with me do you?"  
  
"I'm not agreeing, I'm stating." Draco was grinning again – it just made her angrier.  
  
"Ugh! I'm going!" She turned to pick up her books but Draco grabbed her arm to stop her.  
  
He was staring at her again. It was very unnerving and made Hermione shift nervously under his gaze.  
  
Damn him and his penetrating gaze.  
  
"I uh..." She stuttered, any sarcastic or scathing remarks seemed to have disappeared from her brain. In fact, her brain seemed to have vanished altogether.  
  
What surprised her even more than Draco grabbing her arm was when he leaned forward and covered her mouth with his.  
  
He must have cleaned his teeth recently as he tasted slightly of mint. Hermione briefly worried whether she had bad breath or not.  
  
She stopped when she realised that it was Draco Malfoy kissing her.  
  
She snatched up one of the books from the table and hit him firmly over the head with it.  
  
Draco recoiled instantly and rubbed his head where she had hit him.  
  
"What was that for?" He demanded.

"What was _that _for? What was that for?" Hermione challenged loudly.  
  
"Okay, that made no sense." Draco mused, running a hand through his hair.  
  
"You kissed me!" She complained.  
  
"And?"  
  
"You bastard with too much gel in his hair!"  
  
"That's a pathetic insult."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"No gel." He said simply, gesturing to his hair.  
  
Hermione brandished her book again and was about to say something in reply but was interrupted by Madam Pince.  
  
"The library is no place for yelling." She scolded. "I'm disappointed in both of you. You're prefects, you need to set a good example to the other students. The library is for studying, not for lover's tiffs."  
  
The old librarian ignored the horrified looks on the teenagers' faces. "Now, young lady if you want to break up with your boyfriend please do it elsewhere."  
  
Madam Pince scuttled off. The horrified look seemed transfixed on Hermione's face.  
  
"I suppose she thought we were together because of the longing in your eyes." Draco said.  
  
Hermione frowned. "You're definitely not getting your wand now."  
  
She whacked him once more with the book on the arm for good measure, collected her things and flounced out of the library.  
  
Draco stood helplessly. Tyran stared conceitedly down at him.  
  
"Don't look at me like that." Draco muttered  
  
**A/N:** Hehe. There was a lot of speech in that chapter but at least something happened between them.  
  
I generally find that authors have them kiss and then they both break off thinking 'Oh my God what am I doing? This is 'insert name here' I'm supposed to hate him/her/it!'  
  
I made it slightly different by making Hermione hit Draco over the head with a book!  
  
If you think back, in chapter 5 it says – _'He (Draco) had always thought that if Hermione would hit anyone it would probably be with a book.'_  
  
**Tyran** means tyrant in French.  
  
Anyway, thanks to everyone that reviewed – **Bakuraisho-ur-cute, Pertique, Nephyr, Gemia, citcat299, Erilyn Rose, wackoramaco87, BlazingFire79564, Miss W D Halliwell, NitenGale, Dracos-DAMNsexy27, dizzydragon, tennisplaya278, Becky, NeLLy22, ApurpleSquare**  
  
**Gemia:** Wait, I do know what 'I have a headache' is... I'll remember in a minute... Hold on...  
  
Read and Review!


	10. Damn the teachers!

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Harry Potter I'd be swimming in money. Well let's just say I'm not.  
  
**Chapter Ten:** Damn the teachers!  
  
Draco rested his face on his hand trying to ignore the sound of everyone's quills scratching. He was supposed to be taking notes but couldn't actually be bothered.  
  
Besides, Pansy would willingly lend him her notes if he needed them.  
  
All last night Tyran had continued to glare at him in such a way that made him wonder whether his father was really an animagus.  
  
He had spent most of last night ignoring his owl – although once, he got so annoyed with the creature that he had attempted to put one of Goyle's socks on it's head. It hadn't been successful; all it had resulted in was a bleeding hand and an amplified glare from both parties.  
  
The rest of the night he had tried to work out why he had kissed Hermione. It was like one of those puzzles that as soon as you have read it you have to look at the answers.  
  
It wasn't that he liked her. It was too fast and only happened in the first chapters of cheesy fanfictions. Boy suddenly drops everything he has been taught to believe and falls in love with Girl.  
  
Although, he was beginning to edge away from his father's point of view on Mudbloods. Seeing as now practically two thirds of the wizarding world were halfbloods or Mudbloods there wasn't much point. Hell, even the wondrous Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort were halfbloods!  
  
Of course, it had nothing to do with the fact that Draco didn't particularly want to marry someone who was distantly related to him as all the old Pureblood families were intertwined somehow.  
  
The fact was he couldn't come up with a good reason and it bugged him. He chewed the end of his quill viciously and scowled.  
  
Maybe he could pass it off as a moment of temporary insanity. Or perhaps he could say he had an evil twin – or should that be good twin?  
  
The tip of his quill broke off and some of the feathers got stuck in his throat. After a brief coughing fit he began to muse over possible reasons. Unfortunately he didn't notice the sound of scratching quills had stopped.  
  
Maybe he could say that he was under the Imperius curse.  
  
"Mr Malfoy, will you be joining us anytime this morning?"  
  
Draco blinked a few times and realised that the whole class was staring at him. McGonagall was standing at the front of the classroom, hands on hips and a very displeased look on her face. Some of the Ravenclaws gave him self-righteous looks whereas his own house looked embarrassed.  
  
"I asked you to demonstrate transfiguring the sock in front of you into a turnip three times. Away with the fairies this morning, aren't you? Or maybe you were thinking about your daring escape? Hmm?" McGonagall asked. There were a few hushed sniggers from the Ravenclaw side of the room.  
  
Draco was slightly surprised; he had never known McGonagall to be quite so sarcastic.  
  
Maybe she was having a secret affair with Snape.  
  
Draco grimaced at the horrible mental picture he had presented himself with. Well, it was Hogwarts, anything could happen.  
  
"Would you like to demonstrate, Mr Malfoy?" McGonagall prompted, looking more and more as though she had swallowed a box of lemons. It really wasn't becoming.  
  
"But of course." Draco replied, reaching for his wand. He felt around on his table attempting to find his wand. Then he remembered.  
  
Damn Granger!  
  
Maybe McGonagall wouldn't notice if he just made the hand gestures.  
  
He cleared his throat and said the spell loudly. He waved his hands vaguely at the sock. There was a murmur of confusion and McGonagall's sour expression deepened.  
  
There was a pause that seemed to last for aeons.  
  
"Mr Malfoy," McGonagall finally spoke, "where is your wand?"  
  
Draco did an over exaggerated double take at the hand his wand should have been in and gave a weak grin.  
  
"Ah. It seems I've managed to misplace it." He turned to the huge boy taking up most of the desk next to him. "Crabbe, you didn't eat it did you?"  
  
Crabbe shook his head, a frown on his face as he tried to remember whether he had eaten a stick like object. Draco turned back to McGonagall.  
  
"I see. Well, Mr Malfoy I think we will be seeing you in detention tonight."  
  
"For losing my wand?"  
  
"For losing your wand, not paying attention in class and muttering things like, 'twins' and 'Imperius' rather loudly at regular intervals. The potions classroom at seven." McGonagall replied rather tightly. She turned her back on him and Draco slumped down in his chair.  
  
Seeing as detention was now on the to-do list for tonight Draco decided that there wasn't much point in paying any attention to the rest of the lesson. He placed his chin in his hand and picked up his train of thought from where it had crashed.  
  
Maybe he had kissed Hermione because he knew it would annoy the hell out of her – so much so that she would hit him over the head with a book.  
  
Next time he saw Hermione he would only bring up the kiss if she did. He didn't want to have to justify his actions to Hermione and her 'I'm trying to be understanding but you're making it awfully difficult' face.  
  
She'd probably told Potter and Weasley by now and they would probably want to beat the crap out of him. It might be good to skip potions this afternoon.  
  
He didn't want to deal with a bright red Ron and a homicidal Harry. He also didn't want to see Ron – that would be just plain weird. He wasn't sure whether Ron actually knew who he had been hitting on yet. He didn't want to find out either.  
  
Yes, maybe it would be best if he sloped back to the Slytherin dungeons and avoided the perky Gryffindors altogether.  
  
Hell, it wasn't bravery Slytherins were known for.  
  
--  
  
Hermione however, had not told Harry and Ron about what happened in the library or the truth about Ron's flirting escapade. She wasn't going to tell the two things together, otherwise Ron might have a heart attack.  
  
She made a mental note to ask Ron whether there was a history of heart attacks in the Weasley family.  
  
She was slightly surprised that Draco hadn't turned up for potions. Not that she had been looking for him or anything. Snape too had looked slightly astonished when Crabbe and Goyle said they hadn't seen him since lunch. But then Crabbe and Goyle did tend to space out when there was food on offer.  
  
Pansy was telling anyone and everyone – even the Gryffindors – that Draco had been kidnapped again. She was now trying to rally people into making a search party. They were stubbornly ignoring her.  
  
"You will be making a shrinking potion this afternoon. I will be splitting you into pairs." Snape spoke in a slow, patronising way as if he was talking to monkeys. "You will make the potion and I will make whoever makes the potion wrong drink some correctly made shrinking potion."  
  
Hermione couldn't help but notice that Snape grinned evilly at Neville when he said this.  
  
Snape began to read out pairs, there were groans from both the Slytherin and the Gryffindor sides of the room.  
  
"Granger – Bullstrode." Hermione fought the urge to hex Snape to oblivion and picked up her things to sit with Millicent.  
  
Millicent Bullstrode was one of the scariest girls in the year. One of the third years had once mistaken her for a boy; he had lost two of his front teeth and had forgotten who he was for two weeks.  
  
"Weasley," Snape paused for dramatic effect. "You're with Parkinson."  
  
Ron looked as though he had eaten something and then been told it was actually meant for the dog.  
  
"Potter and, ooh, who shall we have? How about Vincent Crabbe?" Harry glanced over at Crabbe. In Hermione's personal opinion it looked as though Crabbe might eat Harry given half a chance.  
  
It was to be a fun potions lesson.  
  
--  
  
During his skive Draco fallen asleep causing him to miss dinner and be late for detention. Luckily the potions dungeon wasn't too far away from the Slytherin dungeons.  
  
He managed to slide in a few seconds before Snape arrived. Draco slipped into the nearest seat and took a look around. It seemed that there had been quite a few people given detention during the day so the teachers had bundled all the students together for a mass detention.  
  
Judging by the look on Snape's face, he had drawn the short straw of overseeing them all. He dropped a huge pile of dusty books on his desk and glared at each student in turn.  
  
"You will all come up and take a book. You will sit in silence and you will read the book you have taken." Snape growled. Draco put his feet up on the desk, Snape must really be pissed off – he was reverting to the whole 'you will do this' thing. "And you, Mr Malfoy, will take your feet down off the table and will have come up with a good excuse as to why you were not in lessons by the end of detention."  
  
Draco withdrew his feet and surged with the rest of the detentionees to get a book.  
  
As he rose he noticed that the person sitting to the right of him had oddly familiar bushy hair falling over her face. He grabbed a book without looking at the cover and sat down keeping his eyes on Hermione.  
  
There was a noise that sounded a lot like a swearword from Snape's general direction.  
  
"I seem to have left my, ahem, work in the staff room. I will be back shortly, don't even think of trying anything." Snape stormed out of the classroom. There was an expectant silence as everyone listened to Snape's footsteps die away before they all began to talk.  
  
The staff room couldn't be any further away from the potions dungeons and every person in the room knew that particular fact.  
  
Draco glanced down at the book he had picked up, _'The Mating Rituals of Mosquitoes'_, and pushed it to one side. But not before sparing a thought to wonder how the mating rituals of mosquitoes could fill a whole book.  
  
Now he had the opportunity, there was something Draco had to find out.  
  
"Hey Granger. Granger?"  
  
"Malfoy, stop poking me."  
  
Hermione slowly turned to look at him with an irritated look on her face. Draco simply grinned.  
  
"What in hell's name are you doing here?"  
  
Hermione looked back at her book and rolled her eyes. "Why do you care?"  
  
"Who said I did? It's just blatant curiosity." He replied. Hermione didn't look up; she simply flicked a page idly.  
  
"If you must know, it's because I spilt a shrinking potion down Snape's left leg."  
  
Draco tried to imagine Hermione rebelling against the school by throwing shrinking potions at people and failed. He was pretty sure Hermione's idea of rebelling would be not doing extra homework.  
  
"Wow. I knew Snape hated you Gryffindors, but not that much. Anyway Longbottom has spilt loads of potions and never got a detention." He mused out loud. There was a 'hey' from the other side of the room where Neville was sitting. Draco sent him a quelling glare and Neville hurriedly turned back to his book, _'The life of molluscs.'_  
  
Hermione managed a faint smile. "Yes, well, I argued with him about the fact he stuck out his foot to trip me up in the first place."  
  
"Who knew Snape actually had feet under that terribly unstylish robe he always wears?" Draco pondered.  
  
"He probably wears some extremely ugly shoes that he doesn't want people to see." Hermione said, trying to remember the last time she had seen Snape's feet.  
  
"He probably wears trainers."  
  
"I always wondered whether he actually own anything other than that robe..." Hermione paused, she was in detention, Snape would be back any second and here she was talking with Malfoy of all people about Snape's shoes. "...Ugh shut up Malfoy!"  
  
"What? You were the one talking!"  
  
"You were distracting me. Bog off." Hermione replied, wincing at her choice of insult she mouthed 'bog off?!' to herself. Draco tried not to laugh.  
  
"Granger, it may have escaped your notice, but we're in detention! As much as I'd like to 'bog off', I can't."  
  
There was a drawn out pause.  
  
"Shut up Malfoy."  
  
There was another pause. Hermione glanced at Justin Finch-Fletchley who was bravely going through Snape's desk drawers. She looked back at the book she was supposed to be reading.  
  
"How exactly can one 'bog off'?" Draco asked, scooting his chair closer to Hermione's desk. He was trying to be annoying, she could tell.  
  
Hermione pushed her hair out of her face and glared at him.  
  
"Malfoy, you've made me read the same line three bloody times! Either take Muggle Studies or shut the hell up!"  
  
There was yet another pause in which Draco frowned thoughtfully.  
  
"They teach you what a bog is in Muggle Studies? Sounds incredibly trivial."  
  
"I'm ignoring you now."  
  
Hermione turned away from him, she had become dangerously close to whacking Malfoy over the head with the rather heavy volume she had been reading.  
  
Again.  
  
Neither of the bickering pair noticed all the other detentionees cramming themselves into a cupboard in an attempt to hide.  
  
Hermione thought of something and turned back to Draco who was still watching her.  
  
"Aren't you going to explain something?" She asked.  
  
"What do I have to explain?"  
  
"How about why you kissed me."  
  
"Oh that. No."  
  
"But you have to!"  
  
"No I don't. If you're worried that I'm going all," 'I think I might like her. No! I can't! She's Mudblood Granger. Get a hold of yourself Malfoy!' Then don't worry, that's not happening."  
  
"So you have absolutely no reason for kissing me?" Hermione asked sharply, the tone of her words surprising even her. She turned back to the book in front of her.  
  
She read the same line again.  
  
Somewhere deep down, a small part of her book-shaped soul wished that Draco had a reason for kissing her. She wished that it did go something along the lines of 'I think I might like her. No! I can't! She's Mudblood Granger. Get a hold of yourself Malfoy!'  
  
The other part of her soul had a strong urge to shave his beloved hair off when he was asleep.  
  
Draco watched her flick her hair indignantly and wished he had an answer. He didn't think that she would appreciate him being sarcastic right at that moment.  
  
Snape entered surprising both of them. He was clutching _'Ye Olde Potiones'_, although there seemed to be a corner of _Playwizard_ sticking out of the book. Draco blinked a few times and he could hear Hermione trying not to laugh.  
  
"Mr Malfoy, Miss Granger, please explain to me where the rest of the students have disappeared to." Snape demanded.  
  
There was a rather audible 'tee hee' from the cupboard at the back of the room, Snape didn't seem to notice. Draco glanced at Hermione causing her to snort with laughter.  
  
"I expected more of you. Prefects both of you. You will both serve detention with me on Saturday."  
  
"But Professor!" Hermione began outraged, Snape glared at her and she shut her mouth.  
  
"No arguments!" Snape barked before sweeping out of the classroom.  
  
Draco raised an eyebrow; at least Snape had forgotten to ask him about his absence in lessons. He rose and picked up his bag.  
  
Snape appeared again in the doorway, still scowling.  
  
"Mr Malfoy if you would come with me and explain your absence in lessons." He said.  
  
Perhaps he hadn't quite forgotten.  
  
Hermione gave him a smug look and went out the door. There was another muffled 'tee hee' from the cupboard.  
  
"Oh shut up." Draco snapped.  
  
**A/N:** I think I made up a word, 'detentionees' isn't in my dictionary, and so it is my addition to the English Language!  
  
Also, I'm not sure whether anyone actually says tee-hee anymore but whatever.  
  
Next Time On SPD: I really have no idea... This chapter was very much the sort of chapter where everyone ponders life, the universe and kissing, there will probably be more action in chapter 11!  
  
Another thing: I have to say thank you to everyone who reviewed! 101 Dalmatians! No sorry, I mean, 101 reviews! Yay!  
  
_Thanks to everyone who reviewed chapter nine: pirate-elfgal, Bakuraisho-ur- cute, citcat299, Emily, Gemja, Smrt cids, harhermro22, RelientKroxmysox, wackoramaco87, Luna G, Dracos-DAMNsexy27, Erilyn Rose, Mouse Pad, xcyzx, zoogerbas1, Miss W D Halliwell, Male-chan, cocoacoffeebean, dragonsprincess, coolkidd, Nephyr, Amoria, tennisplaya278, NeLLy22.  
_  
Yet another thing: Thanks to everyone who told me the head of Ravenclaw – I needed to know for another fic that has been buzzing around in my head. And no, it's nothing to do with Flitwick! Thanks also to everyone that told me the Spanish for 'I have a headache', when I say things like 'I think I know what I have a headache in Spanish is pretty well.' Don't believe me!


	11. Much ado about arses

**Disclaimer:** Nope, nada, nothing.

**Chapter 11:** Much ado about arses.

_Last Time on SPD_

_"Mr Malfoy if you would come with me and explain your absence in lessons." He said._

_Perhaps he hadn't quite forgotten._

_Hermione gave him a smug look and went out the door. There was another muffled 'tee hee' from the cupboard._

_"Oh shut up." Draco snapped._

* * *

Hermione hugged her books to herself and walked in the other direction that Snape and Draco had taken to Snape's office. Two detentions in one day! This could seriously ruin her chances of becoming Head Girl.

McGonagall had actually told Hermione that to ruin her chances for becoming Head Girl she would have to lift Dumbledore's robes up in the middle of a speech, shave Mrs Norris and set fire to the school.

It didn't mean that she couldn't worry about the detentions though.

Her attention turned to the rather odd conversation that she and Draco had been having. It couldn't exactly be classified as civil. No. She wasn't sure what it could be classified as. She wondered what Harry and Ron would say if she suddenly struck up a conversation about Snape's feet or 'bogs'.

No, discussing girls was more interesting to them now than having silly conversations.

But why had Harry asked her to go to the dance with him? She was sure that he was infatuated with Ginny.

Maybe she had become so preoccupied with Draco that she had fallen behind on the times. Now there was a thought that she had never expected to think.

She made a mental note to ask Lavender and Parvati about it. They knew anything about anyone. If Gossiping was a lesson, Hermione wouldn't be top for once – they would.

She was so busy musing over that week's events that she didn't notice Neville standing in front of her about to say something.

She practically bumped into him before she saw him.

"Hi Hermione." Neville said. "Are you going back to the common room?"

Hermione jumped slightly, coming back to earth with a bump. Last time she had spoken to Neville he had suddenly exploded – verbally not literally – and she was still slightly wary of him. She nodded.

"That's good. I was as well. Can I walk with you?" Neville asked, giving a small smile. Hermione smiled back and nodded again. Maybe Neville had assumed that seeing Draco in her room was only a hallucination, that there had been something in the suspicious looking lasagne.

Hermione was about to remark about something neutral like how good it was that their detention had been cut short or that Hannah Abbot needed to trim her monobrow again when Neville said,

"What were you and Malfoy talking about?" He shoved his hands into his pockets and attempted to look only mildly curious.

"When?" Hermione's mind had suddenly started racing, what if he had seen them talking in the library when Draco had kissed her?

"Just now, in detention."

"We weren't talking we were er... arguing, arguing about," She fished around for something that wouldn't sound as weird or as though they had been having a half way civil conversation.

Even if it was about kissing and Snape's unstylish robes.

"Harry's hair!" She finished triumphantly.

"Why on earth does Malfoy care about Harry's hair?"

"Because he, um, likes to think he has the best hair and I told him Harry's was much nicer!" Hermione cursed the fact that she was a terrible liar and attempted to cool her red cheeks down by wishing she wasn't blushing.

It wasn't working.

"Oh." Neville said, sounding as though he didn't believe her one bit. "It just looked quite cosy that's all."

"Oh no. Not cosy at all! You must have mistaken the tension for cosiness. It was tension not cosiness. Not sexual tension you understand! No of course not." Hermione realised she was blithering and gave a nervous laugh before grimacing at the mess she was making of it.

"I'm sorry I suddenly need the little girls' room. Bye Neville!" She said over cheerfully before disappearing into the girl's bathroom and leaning against the door, exhaling loudly and wondering why on earth she had said 'little girls' room'.

"So," A voice said. Hermione looked up grudgingly to see Lavender and Parvati, halfway through putting more lip-gloss on, looking at her expectantly. "What's this we hear about you and Draco Malfoy?"

"Is he a good kisser?"

"Does he have a nice arse?"

"Are you going out officially?"

Hermione resisted the urge to scream and looked around wildly for an escape route.

* * *

By the next morning Hermione had decided to not have anything more to do with Draco Malfoy.

According to Parvati and Lavender most of Gryffindor had heard about their supposed 'love' but no one had thought of telling Harry and Ron, who were still completely oblivious to it.

It had taken Hermione at least half an hour to convince Lavender and Parvati that there was nothing going on between her and Draco.

Then she had asked about Harry. They had said that Harry had admitted his feelings to Ginny but she didn't feel the same way any more and he wanted to go to the ball with Hermione as a friend.

Hermione had wondered how she had managed to miss all of this. She wasn't that wrapped up in her studies, was she?

But then they had told her that he was going to say all this when he had asked her to go to the ball but Malfoy's entrance had interrupted him.

It was all far too confusing.

Thinking last night over again just made Hermione's head hurt so instead she concentrated on eating her cereal and not looking anywhere near the Slytherin table.

Everyone was far too interested in other people's practically nonexistent love lives.

She didn't want to give them any more fuel for their fire by accidentally on purpose looking at a certain Slytherin.

She didn't want people to think she was having any kind of relationship with Malfoy.

Really.

* * *

Draco was annoyed. In general, this happened a lot.

But this time was different.

He was annoyed with himself for being annoyed.

He was annoyed that Hermione Granger was ignoring him, and he was annoyed that he was annoyed about it.

He was also annoyed because trying to think of the word annoyed that many times was making his head hurt.

He had attempted to make eye contact with her at breakfast but she had been completely engrossed in her bowl of cereal the whole time.

Then he had bumped into her in the corridor causing her to drop her books. She had been about to say something but then she had looked up and a number of expressions had flickered over her face. She had picked up her books and walked off without so much of a glance back.

He was becoming irritatingly childish in trying to get her attention. He had even grabbed Crabbe's wand and turned Weasley into a bowl of tomato soup to make her notice him.

Due to it being someone else's wand the spell had not been particularly successful, the bowl of Weasley soup still had ears, rather a lot of red hair sprouting from the soup and it still had Weasley's eyes glaring at him from the side of the bowl.

All she had done was turned Weasley back and walked off. Weasley, however, did not appreciate being turned into a bowl of soup even if it was particularly badly transfigured bowl of soup.

Draco had spent half of Herbology in the hospital wing whilst Madame Pomfrey tried to get his nose back to its original size.

He would find out what was going on with her and he would find out soon.

* * *

Hermione flicked to the page in her book on Merrows for her DADA homework. She was surprisingly behind on her homework. In Hermione speak this meant she had not done some of her homework on the night it was set.

She took a fresh quill and a clean piece of parchment out of her bag. The library was surprisingly quiet – the way Hermione liked it.

_The Merrow is a_

"Well, well, Granger. Fancy seeing you here."

Hermione didn't even have to look up. "Malfoy. Don't you have something better to do? Like turn my friends into bowls of soup?"

"Granger, Granger, Granger. Have you learnt nothing? You need originality. You can't do the same thing more than once."

Hermione looked up, he had his feet up on the desk (Hermione wasn't sure how he had managed to do that without her noticing.) and was smirking at her.

She frowned at him. She did have a few questions for him and she did still have his wand. Maybe they could get everything sorted out then they could pretend nothing ever happened.

And maybe she could go back to 'the bookworm' instead of 'the Slytherin's queen'.

"Ok Malfoy, I'll give you your wand back if you answer my questions." Hermione said, reaching into her bag and taking out his wand.

The irritatingly amused look didn't shift from Draco's face. "Sounds like an offer I can't refuse."

"Good." Hermione put her homework back into her bag ignoring the fact that Draco's gaze didn't waver from her.

"So, why were you unconscious in the first place? I promise I won't laugh if it's because a first year beat you up." Hermione said, the grin on her face betraying her.

A look of irritation crossed Draco's face. "No, nothing like that."

"What then?"

"My father."

"Your father somehow managed to get into the castle and beat you up?"

"Nobody beat me up! My father curses me."

The grin disappeared from Hermione's face.

"Your father curses you?"

Draco seemed completely unruffled by the topic of conversation.

"Yeah, it's so he can punish me long distance, so he doesn't actually have to move that fat arse of his." He replied.

"Your father doesn't have a fat arse. It's very shapely." Hermione said thoughtfully.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." Draco replied looking slightly as though he was being choked.

"I'm sorry. But Draco that's terrible."

"What is? The fact that you seem to know what condition my father's arse is in or the fact he curses me?" The amused look was back again.

"Possibly both." Said Hermione, trying not to smile.

"That's good to know."

"Why on earth would he want to curse you though?"

"Granger, have you not met my father? You know, tall, oppressive, looks like me only less good looking, radiates bastard vibes?" Draco supplied, leaning forward in his chair.

"Being a bastard isn't a good enough reason."

"It may have had something to do with the fact that just before I left for Hogwarts he asked me what I thought of his new robes." Draco pondered out loud.

Hermione suddenly seemed very interested in the topic.

"What did you say to him?"

"Something along the lines of feminine, girly and possibly an embarrassment to society." Draco said pretending as though he didn't quite remember.

"You told your father that he looked like a girl in his robes and that you didn't want to be seen in public with him?" Hermione's smile widened and Draco couldn't help but smile back.

"That's the general gist of it, yes."

"I'm not sure your father could look bad in anything." Hermione said.

Draco suddenly turned slightly green. "Please stop that."

"Oh, sorry."

There was a pause in which both teenagers mulled over what had been said. Hermione spoke again.

"So if you sent your father a letter saying, _'I'm leaving home forever because I hate you and you're a bastard. I'm going to renounce the dark lord and become a sheep farmer in Scotland with Ginny.'_ He would curse you and you would black out?"

Draco nodded. "Yes, except it's generally accompanied by extreme, burning pain and a pounding headache. It's just a way of controlling me, making sure I do what he wants."

Hermione rested her chin on her hand and regarded Draco thoughtfully.

"Like when you poke cows with those electric prodder things."

"Please refrain from using muggle terms around me, it just confuses me." Draco frowned.

Hermione smiled again. "I'm not sure 'electric prodder things' could be classed as a muggle term."

There was another pause. Hermione was watching Draco who seemed to be trying to remember something.

"Who's Ginny?" He said, the childish frown still in place.

"You know Ginny - small, red hair, lots of freckles?" Hermione said, wondering how Draco could not know who Ginny was.

Draco gave her a blank look and shook his head.

"Ginny? Ginny Weasley?"

"Oh the mini Weasel!"

"You really need to remember the names of the people you torment." She said disapprovingly. Draco shrugged in a 'so sue me' way.

"I can't. There are too many of them." He paused. "Besides I wouldn't run away the mini Weasel. She's too short."

Hermione grinned. "She's scared of sheep too."

Draco smiled back at her in a way that made Hermione wonder why she had wanted to have nothing to do with him. Draco didn't look away from her and Hermione could feel the heat rising in her cheeks for the hundredth time that week.

Unfortunately for Hermione fate had decided to torment her, this combined with Draco watching her in the way that Ron was aiming for with 'Daisy' and her rising embarrassment made her fall off her chair and land on the floor in a most unladylike way.

"It was only an example." She muttered to herself.

She could see Draco watching her, the mirth apparent in his eyes. He was doing nothing to help her up. That rumour that Malfoys were very gentlemanly was a load of bull in Hermione's opinion.

"I would never renounce the Dark Lord anyway." Draco remarked as she stood up and dusted herself off. Hermione suddenly became angry, he was practically admitting he was a Death Eater to her of all people!

"And why's that?" She asked, sitting down on her chair again.

"Because to be able to renounce him you have to be in league with him in the first place." Draco said, lazily twirling the quill Hermione had left out between his fingers.

"And you're not?"

"Nope, in my opinion evil villains should be well spoken, suave and have devilishly good looks. Voldemort is in possession of none of those things, most of the time he looks like the albino offspring of a lizard and Snape first thing in the morning." He put the quill down. "Acts like it too."

Hermione smiled again. "So you're on the side of good then?"

"I wouldn't say that. I think I'm more neutral."

"You can't be neutral!"

Draco arched an eyebrow. "Who says? Being neutral means I can taunt Potter, because he's a real pain in the arse, without having to have an incredibly unstylish symbol burnt into my arm. As long as my father doesn't find out, I may live until thirty."

"You're right."

"Hah! I have finally turned you to the neutral side! You think Potter's an arse as well!" He exclaimed, pointing at her. A few heads turned to look at them.

"It's not quite as effective when you replace the 'dark' with 'neutral'." Hermione remarked.

"But you do think Potter's an arse?"

"No, unfortunately for you I have not turned to the side of," Air quotes. "'neutral', Harry's still one of my best friends. I think you're right about the Dark Mark being incredibly unstylish."

Draco lowered his head and said mock sadly, "I wish you wouldn't keep getting my hopes up like that."

"Draco, why are you sitting here in the library with me discussing unstylish Dark Marks and your father's arse?"

"We weren't discussing my father's arse."

"Maybe you weren't." Hermione said. Draco groaned and placed his head on the table.

"I was joking!" Hermione said hurriedly. Draco lifted his head, some silvery strands of hair falling into his eyes.

"I should hope you were." He said. "Well, I was going to reply that I enjoy your company much more over Crabbe and Goyle's, but now I'm thinking that Crabbe, Goyle and their indecipherable grunting might be preferable over you and my father's arse."

There was a pause where all that could be heard was the scratching of quills and pages flicking.

"Draco, why did you kiss me?"

Draco had been dreading her asking again. He cringed. Maybe he could get away with a stupid answer.

"To show my gratitude?"

"Hah." Hermione snorted.

"To shut you up?"

"That's pathetic."

"Well, so is your love life but I don't comment on it." Draco said, pushing his hair out of his eyes.

"And for that I am eternally grateful." Hermione said highly sarcastically. It was ironic really seeing as the whole of Gryffindor seemed to be interested in her 'exciting' love life.

"Okay, my turn to ask the questions." The Smirk™ had reappeared on his face. "Why have you been avoiding me?"

Hermione ran a hand through her hair. "To show my gratitude?"

Draco raised an eyebrow again. "That's not even funny."

"To shut you up?"

"Ooh, would you look at that."

"What?" Hermione said, looking at the floor.

"My sides have split and my insides have burst all over the floor from laughing so much."

"There's no need to be sarcastic."

"Me? Sarcastic? Never!" Draco cried, mock hurt.

"Now there's an understatement if I ever heard one. Well I have to go." Hermione said standing up and picking up her bag.

"Granger, I notice you gracefully sidestepped my question." Draco stood up in front of her. "Maybe if I kissed you again it might jog your memory." He grinned wickedly.

"No, it's okay honestly. There's no need for that. Its just Neville saw you in my room and he's seen us talking together a few times." Hermione said hurriedly.

"I bet he's becoming increasingly paranoid about the whole thing. Anyway, I'm sure you were enjoying that kiss." He frowned again. "At least up until the time you hit me over the head with a book."

"Sorry about that, no serious injuries I hope?" Hermione said.

"No, no. Just a mild concussion. No lasting damage."

"Well it's not like there's anything to damage in that thick skull of yours." She said. "Speaking of sidestepping questions, you didn't give me a good reason to why you kissed me."

"I'm Draco Malfoy. Do I need a reason?" He said bluntly, picking up her quill and twirling it again.

Hermione opened her mouth, her mind all ready with a smug insult, this was one of the worst things she could have done as Draco took a step towards her, grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her towards him.

Hermione went into a state of shock as their lips met. The brain numbing sensation returned and for a moment she lost the capability to end the kiss. All that was going through her brain was how soft his lips were and how she might possibly like to stay like that for a while.

She was also rather aware that there were a few people staring at them and this wasn't really helping her 'there's nothing going on between us' story.

Draco suddenly pulled away. "I'm impressed; you didn't feel the need to hit me."

Hermione did fish impressions for a few seconds before finding her brain again. "There were no books to hand. I would have done but..."

Draco gave her a grin that told her he didn't believe her in the slightest. "Sure you would have." And without further adieu he swaggered out of the library.

"Bastard!" Hermione yelled after him without much conviction. She ignored Madame Pince's accusing glare and looked down at the desk.

The irritating git had taken her quill!

Huffily Hermione gathered up her books and bags and stomped out of the library. Unfortunately for her she didn't notice a figure watching her leave.

**A/N:** Dun dun dun! Well, I like Draco/Hermione interaction so I may have gone a little bit overboard with the verbal spars and so forth... ho hum ... Anyway it's too hot to think, give me good old winter and I'll be happy.

_Thanks to everyone who reviewed: tennisplaya278, RelientKroxmysox721, NeLLy22, wackoramaco87, Aeriel Ravenna, Erilyn Rose, siriuslyafanficaddict, dragonsprincess, Dracos-DAMNsexy27, GilraenLissesul5, citcat299, LittleWhiskeyGirl, pirate-elfgal, DemonSorceress, Stephanie, kel-warrior-goddezz, bungeecord._

Just to clear something up: Have you ever been so bored in class that when the teacher leaves the room the whole class tries to hide in some completely stupid place? Well, that's what the detentionees were doing. Just to clear up any confusion.

Read and Review!

_Yeah, I changed the mistakes in this chapter. But if there are any more that my tired cold-befuddled (tell me, who gets a cold in summer?) brain has missed please tell me. It would be greatly appreciated._


	12. Nice Shoes Longbottom

**Disclaimer: Do I really need to say anything?**

**Chapter 12: Nice Shoes Longbottom.**

Hermione rushed along the corridor with half the library cradled in her arms. She ignored the strange looks she was receiving from most of the student population and

Tripped.

She had been so busy trying to stop '_What not to do with spare potions ingredients'_ from reaching its untimely demise of dropping on the floor and being stood on by numerous pairs of feet that she had forgotten to pay attention to coordinating her own two feet.

The result? Hermione dropped to her knees with a painful 'crack' and the books skittered away across the stone floor, hitting a few unsuspecting passers-by painfully in the ankles.

Hermione damned the books to hell rather loudly. Granted, it wasn't best thing to do when you were already the receiving end of most people's strange looks but Hermione was past caring. She had piled most of the books into a rather unsteady pile and was now looking for Alfred Twaddle's bestseller that had apparently disappeared without a trace.

Unfortunately for Hermione she was unaware that her hair had come out of its ponytail and was covering her face making her look oddly like Cousin It. She did know however that she had splodges of ink on her hands and one of her socks had fallen down – as socks are prone to do.

Her hair did not impair her hearing though, she could hear a whispered 'I don't know what Draco sees in her' perfectly well. A sudden urge to march over to what appeared to be two fourth year girls and tell them that Draco didn't see anything in her whatsoever popped up inside her brain.

And maybe give them a detention to go with it.

She dismissed the urge, telling herself that prefects should not abuse their power. Besides, the two girls would probably think that they were being accosted by the hair monster or something.

She knelt up, abandoning her search for the book for a minute, and realised how silly she must look, scrabbling around on the floor trying to collect her dropped books whilst attempting to not get stood on.

It was amazing that, just because it was the end of school on a Friday afternoon, no one would bother to help her because they all had somewhere to go, someone to meet or something to do.

She pushed her hair out of her eyes and gave a quick scan of the floor for the missing book when a pair of shoes came into her line of vision.

A pair of shoes that she knew very well.

The owner of these particular pair of shoes was an insufferable prat.

"Not you." She murmured into her hair.

Maybe he had come to return her quill. At last.

It was slightly strange though; the shoes were more scuffed than she remembered and had what were probably the remains of a spilt potion on one of the toes.

A hand proffered the book she had been searching for; Hermione took it, scrambling to her feet. She was all ready with a scathing remark when she came face to face with Neville.

"Neville!" She yelped, instantly wincing inwardly at the pitch of her surprised voice. There was a pause as Hermione looked at Neville's feet and Neville watched Hermione look at his feet.

"You do realise you have the same shoes as Malfoy don't you?" Hermione asked, finally looking up.

"Yeah, I thought they might make me more attractive to the girls. You know, if I had the same shoes as him." Neville blinked, slightly surprised at the question. There was another pause, this time it was more awkward. Hermione gave Neville a strange look at his answer.

"Did you want some help with your books?" Neville asked, breaking the silence and motioning at the teetering pile of books.

"Oh. Yes." Hermione replied, still obviously quite bemused about the shoe conversation. "Please."

Neville picked up half of the stack and began to walk at a slow speed. "I needed to talk to you anyway."

Hermione paused to note that the corridor had suddenly emptied of the students, most people, she guessed, would have gone outside to sit in the last rays of autumn sunshine before it got too cold.

She also wondered where Neville was planning on going with this 'talk'.

Realising that Neville was waiting for her, she scooped the books up into her arms and scooted after him.

They walked in silence for a little while, Hermione contemplating whether she could run away if the conversation turned to Draco. She had had enough of people asking her about 'the Gryffindor Slytherin alliance' as it had been named.

Also Lavender and Parvati had taken to cornering her on the way to lessons and asking her strange questions about Draco. They had also come in the library on a few occasions, looking around in distaste as if the books were going to jump on them and mess up their hair before sitting down next to Hermione and re-asking many of the same questions.

They had also asked her whether constant exposure to dust made hair as bushy as hers.

Last time she had been detained with questions on whether Draco had chest hair or not, she had been saved by the arrival of Harry and Ron. As she fled, pulling Harry and Ron after her, the girls called after her that they would be talking to her on Friday.

This was one of the main reasons Hermione was rushing down the corridor with most of her homework. She had been trying to find a place to work where Lavender and Parvati wouldn't find her.

She thought she had lost them when she went to the library.

She didn't know that they were even aware that there was a library in the school.

It wasn't that she didn't like Lavender and Parvati; it was just that if she heard them ask her whether Draco's eyes were more deep grey or more silvery grey one more time, she might explode.

She didn't care whether Draco had grey eyes or eyes that changed colour depending on the weather or even eyes that flash neon colours. As far as she was concerned he was an irritating prat who made life extremely difficult for her.

And smirked while he did it.

Whilst she had done her homework in the library yesterday she had not in any way wanted Draco to come in and annoy her like he had done the night before.

Really.

She hadn't been disappointed at all when he didn't saunter through the bookshelves to just infuriate her.

She also hadn't toyed with the idea that he might come in to return her quill. Which, he didn't.

And again, she hadn't been disappointed.

"Hermione?"

"Mmm?"

"Why are you whacking your head against a book?"

"Oh, no reason."

Neville stopped abruptly and turned to her, his mouth barely visible over the pile of books he was holding.

"Look Hermione, I've seen you and Malfoy kissing in the library and I've seen him in your room. What's going on? Really, I mean. Not some random rumour going around the girls' toilets. The truth." Neville said, sounding concerned from behind the books. He looked as though he expected her to hit him. 

Hermione froze. She didn't mind what the rest of the school thought, apart from when they asked irritating questions, but when it was one of her friends it was rather more difficult.

She didn't have time to wonder why on earth Neville had been in the girls' toilets as it wasn't important.

"You're not going to yell again, are you?" Hermione asked in a tight voice.

"No."

"Okay."

There was a long pause. Neville looked at Hermione wide-eyed and expectantly over the top of the books.

"And?"

"And what?" Hermione said, trying to sound curious as to what he might mean.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing!" Hermione cursed her English rose complexion that flushed over the tiniest lie.

Neville frowned confusedly, "So you just decided to kiss Malfoy in the library? Maybe we should all do it!"

Hermione realised that answering this particular question would mean admitting that it happened, but there was no point lying about it anyway – she was Hermione The Red Faced Liar.

"Two things, one, _he_ kissed _me_! And two, I don't think that's a good idea, he'd probably hit you." Hermione replied shifting the books that had suddenly become rather heavy.

"So now you know the inner workings of Malfoy's brain?" Neville didn't sounded angry, more worried than anything.

"No! I was just remarking." Hermione said.

The two teenagers didn't even notice the paintings around them all watching with interested looks on their faces.

"If you can't give me a good reason, I'll have to tell Harry and Ron." Neville said anxiously, fiddling with a book cover.

The sound of footsteps echoed down the empty corridor.

"Move Granger. Your hair is barricading the hallway."

Ah it was Mr. Insufferable Prat himself. Hermione and Neville moved out of his way, as Draco walked past he grinned at Hermione and gave her the ghost of a wink.

Hermione knew she should have waited until he was out of earshot but she needed to prove a point. "See! There's nothing going on!" She cried to Neville.

The footsteps stopped and Hermione grimaced as she saw Draco swivel back round to face them out of the corner of her eyes, he had a wicked smirk on his face.

It wasn't looking good.

"Oh yeah, Hermione love, I'll meet you in the astronomy tower later." He said, as if remembering something he had meant to say a while ago. He then pretended to see Neville for the first time. "To, uh, study." He winked again, this time it was extremely over exaggerated and he did it so Neville could see.

"By the way, nice shoes Longbottom." Draco said before ambling off down the hall.

"He's lying! Don't look at me like that!" Hermione protested. Neville looked torn between believing his friend and believing the boy that tormented him everyday.

"I'm sorry Hermione but I think Harry and Ron need to know." He said slowly, avoiding her gaze. He walked off still holding her books.

Hermione waited until he was out of earshot before exclaiming to the ceiling, "The world is conspiring against me!"

In a painting to Hermione's left a motherly looking woman with what appeared to be a parrot on her shoulder muttered, "That's nice dear."

Another painting to Hermione's right was of another woman with a huge powdered wig leant forward in her frame. "So tell us, _is_ there something going on between you and that good-looking blond boy?"

"Argh!" Hermione moaned at no one in particular.

* * *

Even if Neville had said something to Harry and Ron they didn't say anything to Hermione. Although they did spend an increasing amount of time with her, Ron had even ventured to the library with her on Saturday afternoon.

Ron, it seemed, was not the best person to go to the library with. He had a book about Muggles open in front of him and kept sniggering loudly at the diagrams of washing machines and televisions.

Hermione didn't find the pictures funny in the slightest, having grown up with them and kept sending Ron death glares through her hair.

It was only when she was halfway through explaining to Ron why you had to be quiet in a library for the third time that she realised she was supposed to be in detention.

She jumped up, overturning the chair in the process and haring out of the library leaving a rather confused Ron in her wake.

She skidded to a halt in front of the potions classroom, extremely out of breath, her hair in her face and ten minutes late for her detention.

Snape was standing outside the potions classroom, his arms folded and his regulation scowl in place.

"Glad you could join us Miss Granger." He said curtly before disappearing into the classroom. Hermione followed him in; Draco was already in the classroom, his feet up on the desk and his hands behind his head. Snape swept past Draco and pushed his feet off the desk.

"Mr Malfoy, Miss Granger. Do you see that pile of cauldrons and jars over there?" Snape said, gesturing to a huge tottering pile of dirty cauldrons and jars, some still half full of old potions. Hermione and Draco nodded, both of them pretty sure what they would have to do.

"Clean them all. Normally I would clean them with a quick wave of a wand but seeing as you let the other detentionees leave the classroom somehow, I think it would be a good idea for you to clean them yourselves."

Hermione opened her mouth in protest but Draco nudged her sharply in the side with his elbow.

"_Accio wands_. The muggle cleaning items are under the sink." Hermione and Draco simply stared at the stack of cauldrons. "This century if you please." Snape said, before swishing out of the classroom.

"Tell you what Granger, I'll do this pile." Draco took two cauldrons and a few jars. "And you can do the rest." He nodded towards the still huge pile. "Can't say fairer than that."

"Or how about you go drown yourself in that sink full of water?" Hermione said, raising an eyebrow.

"Why so tense Granger? Maybe you need a smoocheroo to loosen you up." Draco said, taking a step forward.

Hermione took a step backwards. "Smoocheroo? And no thanks, I don't need any smoocheroos from you."

"It's a fun word to say." Draco shrugged. "There is another option though."

"Oh yes? What might that be?" The words had barely been spoken before Draco had thrown a cauldron full of water over her.

Hermione shrieked loudly, the water was cold, and snatched up a cauldron of her own.

Draco grinned and stuck his tongue out at her. He didn't have time to move before the water hit him full in the face. There had still been some remnants of potion in the cauldron; Draco's hair was now bright red.

In return he threw a half full jar at Hermione, turning her skin green.

"Right that's it!" Hermione yelled.

Snape returned two hours later to find a soaking Draco and Hermione, laughing and having a duel with scrubbing brushes.

"ENOUGH!"

Draco and Hermione froze mid parry, the grins vanishing off their faces.

"Out! Out! Out!" Snape roared. The two teenagers didn't need any more encouragement, darting out of the door.

Walking down the corridor, their water-filled shoes making squelching noises, Hermione turned to Draco.

"That was your fault, you know."

Draco snorted, "Actually I think it was you that started it."

"Excuse me? I wasn't the one who threw a cauldron of water in the first place!" Hermione replied, pushing Draco lightly in the arm.

"No, you did. Right after I sprayed you with water from the tap." Draco said, raising an eyebrow. "Personally I wouldn't be surprised if Snape slipped poison into your next potion."

"As long as I'd put some in yours first." Hermione said, taking her soaked shoes and socks off and walking down the corridor bare foot.

"You do realise your skin is green don't you? Slytherin green?" Draco said.

"And you do realise your hair is red don't you? Gryffindor red?" Hermione retorted, wringing her socks out.

Really, when you thought about it, Draco mused, when her hair was dripping wet it wasn't all that bushy.

As the pair disappeared around the corner the painting with the huge wig turned to the woman with the parrot,

"I told you there was something going on between those two."

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay. Returning to school is such a depressing thing isn't it? Anyway, I got buried in homework so didn't have time to write.

There's a chapter further on that I really want to write and I needed to get this 'filler' chapter out of the way. More stuff will happen in the next few chapters, this was a transitional chapter so I apologise if it was slightly dull.

Nyargâ€ school.

Thanks to everyone that reviewed!

Read and Review!


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